Today was our last day with Batyrhan and while I was dreading its arrival, the visit was as good as it could have been under the chaos of our final day.
Batyrhan was brought in to us today by his caregiver, Jameela, in an adorable court jester outfit in celebration of New Years, a very big celebration here. He was adorable and I’m so glad I was able to snap a photo before he pulled his hat off.
The visit was busy because we were in the same room as our Belgian friends with their adorable babies. We had already warned them that Batyrhan would invade their toy areas, and that he did. His curiosity and friendliness are easy qualities to be around but not when we are trying to help these new parents bond with their children as well. I didn’t want Batyrhan to interfere so once again it was a visit filled with a lot of redirecting.
We had an unbelievable opportunity today to watch a Children’s Show here at the Baby House to celebrate the coming of the new year. It was in the music room, now decorated for the show with more tinsel and greenery, and involved the practicing children from the other day. This time they were dressed up in elaborate costumes, including the Kazakh version of Santa Claus and his snow princess. The show was impressive — the children’s voices clear and loud, their dances skilled. I was holding back my tears. They performed in front of the Head Director, many of the caregivers, other children, our translator and us. There might have been a few parents in the room – there were 4 or 5 people whose role I could not place. Sadly the orphanage is often used as a holding place for parents who can not care for their children. Batyrhan’s group comprised part of the audience and they were all decked out in costumes — they looked like very well made Halloween costumes of princesses or tigers or kings. Some of the children from Batyrhan’s group were special needs. There were some 4 and 5 years old performing and it left me wondering why they have been the forgotten ones. How did time pass for them? How has Batyrhan been so lucky and will the others ever get a chance? I was unable to take photos. And this is fine. This image will surely not leave me.
At the same time that I felt a sadness, I have to admit that I saw an amazing love of the caregivers for the children. Even while watching the show with a restless Batyrhan in my arms, his caregiver Jameela, a women I previously hadn’t seen but in passing, would often take him from me to relieve me. I allowed her, not feeling she was stepping on my shoes. There was something about her that reminded me of my Grandma Elsie – something in her gait, for surely my grandmother was not Asian. But I felt a connection to her and was happy during the 20 minutes of the portion of the show we saw, to switch back and forth caring for Batyrhan. In these moments, with a squirming Batyrhan on my hands, I didn’t feel judged at all. I felt like a normal mom watching a show with a Grandma nearby.
When we said goodbye, Jameela spoke to us in Kazakh while Bolat translated. I wish we had it on video, and Gary said the same. It was a moment I shall not forget yet I can not remember all that she said. Our hands were clasped and she looked at us when she spoke wishing us a good life and a happy new year and a speedy return. She kept repeating “We will wait for you!” She told us “Batyrhan will run to you next time you come. You will see! We wait for you!” We took a photo together and she was concerned about her hair. We thanked her for taking such good care of Batyrhan. We told her he has two sisters to come home to and she replied that he will love them. We told her he will have a wonderful life in America. And she agreed.
It was time to kiss Batyrhan good bye and it was nearing his nap time so he was getting cranky. It happened in an instant and came upon us too suddenly. It was a bumbled and fumbling goodbye in which I fell forward and my front teeth sunk into his cheek. He didn’t cry but I could tell he felt it. I kissed him all over his smooth cheeks and said to him over and over “Don’t forget us. We’re coming back. Don’t forget us.” He waved and blew kisses and then he was gone. The door was slightly ajar and as his little body toddled off holding the hand of his caregiver I saw his flapping arm still waving goodbye. Another caregiver must have taken him because Jameela was just outside the door when we finally packed up to leave the playroom. I shook her hand again and we said thank you and Spasiba and then she pulled me towards her in a strong embrace. It was a moment without a translator but no translation was necessary.
We spent the rest of the day shopping for souvenirs and eating horse meat (the last I will ever have in my life) and trying to push aside the fact that we are leaving a little boy behind. I started getting nasty and cranky as the day wore on and I wonder if it was this emotional roller coaster just bubbling under my surface.
We are packed and ready to be picked up at our hotel at 7 am. It will be pitch black just as it was when we arrived 16 days ago. Only this time I will not be afraid. Gary and I have both left a part of our hearts here and his name is Batyrhan.
Emma and Eden, with joy in our hearts, we come home to you! Tomorrow you will be in our arms and watching movies in our bed just as we promised.
Paka Paka … See you back on the other side!
Such a bittersweet time.Hope your flight home was speedy and unadventful! And a happy, happy reunion and New Year with the girls! Talk to you soon.
Julie C.
Such a bittersweet time.Hope your flight home was speedy and unadventful! And a happy, happy reunion and New Year with the girls! Talk to you soon.
Julie C.
Such a bittersweet time.Hope your flight home was speedy and unadventful! And a happy, happy reunion and New Year with the girls! Talk to you soon.
Julie C.
What a beautiful little guy! Hoping and praying that your time passes quickly before he is back in your arms.
What a beautiful little guy! Hoping and praying that your time passes quickly before he is back in your arms.
What a beautiful little guy! Hoping and praying that your time passes quickly before he is back in your arms.
Hi,
I must have missed something here……when is your court date??
Are you doing 2 trips? or 3?
Which one of you is returning?
As for your comment on the 4 and 5 year olds being left behind….I adopted a 4 yr old, but she wasn't placed in the orphanage until she was 3yrs 8 months…..and other kids had similar stories. Then there are the childen whose parents have not relinquished them. Certainly I think that all babies are 'snapped up' pretty quickly.
btw your boy is a handsome chap!
J
Hi,
I must have missed something here……when is your court date??
Are you doing 2 trips? or 3?
Which one of you is returning?
As for your comment on the 4 and 5 year olds being left behind….I adopted a 4 yr old, but she wasn't placed in the orphanage until she was 3yrs 8 months…..and other kids had similar stories. Then there are the childen whose parents have not relinquished them. Certainly I think that all babies are 'snapped up' pretty quickly.
btw your boy is a handsome chap!
J
cannot believe it is the 30th already and you are coming home! how do you feel now? relief the scary part is over? that you have gone and you are coming home content and anxious to go back?
did you experience things you didn't expect?
i have so many questions, can't wait to talk
and see the girls
safe trip home!
love you
kim
cannot believe it is the 30th already and you are coming home! how do you feel now? relief the scary part is over? that you have gone and you are coming home content and anxious to go back?
did you experience things you didn't expect?
i have so many questions, can't wait to talk
and see the girls
safe trip home!
love you
kim
A truly bittersweet farewell, for now.
But the time will fly by – while simultaneously moving at a veritable crawl. However, next time there will be such a special moment time.
Safe travels.
(P.S. And on your return you will still have to sample the camel's milk and the mare's milk to complete your gastronomic journey).
A truly bittersweet farewell, for now.
But the time will fly by – while simultaneously moving at a veritable crawl. However, next time there will be such a special moment time.
Safe travels.
(P.S. And on your return you will still have to sample the camel's milk and the mare's milk to complete your gastronomic journey).
A truly bittersweet farewell, for now.
But the time will fly by – while simultaneously moving at a veritable crawl. However, next time there will be such a special moment time.
Safe travels.
(P.S. And on your return you will still have to sample the camel's milk and the mare's milk to complete your gastronomic journey).
Oh Steph, I am crying my eyes out. These goodbyes are so painful. I will never forget how it tore at my heart. Not only that, but it's confusing for the children. Oh gosh, I won't get started. But at least there is some sweetness to it as you will soon be home with your girls and this is one more step toward your final return.
I love Batyrhan's jolly outfit today! And your description of your day's experiences left me still and breathless. The images of the caregivers' love, yet knowing that it will never be enough for the children left behind is such a pardox.
I'm so glad your final days there were more positive and uplifting. I'm proud of you for being honest in your blog. You have your eyes wide open and that is a great way to approach the bonding process ahead of you. Just remember there will come a day when you read back through these posts and be amazed at how far you've come.
I hope that by now you are well on your way home. There is a lot to process as you wait for trip two. You've gotten a lot of great feedback and advice. Still, feel free to call or write.
Oh, and be sure to either bring or purchase a stroller for your next trip. Batyrhan will need to get used to it before you use it for the trip home. I made the mistake of traveling with Milo without one!
Hugs,
Regina
Oh Steph, I am crying my eyes out. These goodbyes are so painful. I will never forget how it tore at my heart. Not only that, but it's confusing for the children. Oh gosh, I won't get started. But at least there is some sweetness to it as you will soon be home with your girls and this is one more step toward your final return.
I love Batyrhan's jolly outfit today! And your description of your day's experiences left me still and breathless. The images of the caregivers' love, yet knowing that it will never be enough for the children left behind is such a pardox.
I'm so glad your final days there were more positive and uplifting. I'm proud of you for being honest in your blog. You have your eyes wide open and that is a great way to approach the bonding process ahead of you. Just remember there will come a day when you read back through these posts and be amazed at how far you've come.
I hope that by now you are well on your way home. There is a lot to process as you wait for trip two. You've gotten a lot of great feedback and advice. Still, feel free to call or write.
Oh, and be sure to either bring or purchase a stroller for your next trip. Batyrhan will need to get used to it before you use it for the trip home. I made the mistake of traveling with Milo without one!
Hugs,
Regina
Oh Steph, I am crying my eyes out. These goodbyes are so painful. I will never forget how it tore at my heart. Not only that, but it's confusing for the children. Oh gosh, I won't get started. But at least there is some sweetness to it as you will soon be home with your girls and this is one more step toward your final return.
I love Batyrhan's jolly outfit today! And your description of your day's experiences left me still and breathless. The images of the caregivers' love, yet knowing that it will never be enough for the children left behind is such a pardox.
I'm so glad your final days there were more positive and uplifting. I'm proud of you for being honest in your blog. You have your eyes wide open and that is a great way to approach the bonding process ahead of you. Just remember there will come a day when you read back through these posts and be amazed at how far you've come.
I hope that by now you are well on your way home. There is a lot to process as you wait for trip two. You've gotten a lot of great feedback and advice. Still, feel free to call or write.
Oh, and be sure to either bring or purchase a stroller for your next trip. Batyrhan will need to get used to it before you use it for the trip home. I made the mistake of traveling with Milo without one!
Hugs,
Regina
Steph and Gary – Welcome to the exclusive club of those expats who have lived in Almaty, Kazkakhstan!
Your son looks so happy in the photos. He will not forget you, and the next time he lays eyes on you he will see you every day until he goes off to college!
We are so excited to follow your journey. It has opened up many converstations in our little family, and memories.
We love you all, and can't wait to meet your little guy and see the girls again!
McP
Steph and Gary – Welcome to the exclusive club of those expats who have lived in Almaty, Kazkakhstan!
Your son looks so happy in the photos. He will not forget you, and the next time he lays eyes on you he will see you every day until he goes off to college!
We are so excited to follow your journey. It has opened up many converstations in our little family, and memories.
We love you all, and can't wait to meet your little guy and see the girls again!
McP
Steph and Gary – Welcome to the exclusive club of those expats who have lived in Almaty, Kazkakhstan!
Your son looks so happy in the photos. He will not forget you, and the next time he lays eyes on you he will see you every day until he goes off to college!
We are so excited to follow your journey. It has opened up many converstations in our little family, and memories.
We love you all, and can't wait to meet your little guy and see the girls again!
McP
It's been so interesting and joyful to follow along…best wishes for a safe trip and a speedy return to your boy!
It's been so interesting and joyful to follow along…best wishes for a safe trip and a speedy return to your boy!
It's been so interesting and joyful to follow along…best wishes for a safe trip and a speedy return to your boy!
Paka paka, safe travels to you. I hope the time speeds by quickly Susan
Paka paka, safe travels to you. I hope the time speeds by quickly Susan
You write so well! Oh, I wish you had been able to take pictures or video! I have a picture of Nicholas from a year ago in a similar celebration that another adoptive mom sent me. I will treasure it as it was before we met Nicholas. I am thinking of you, and wishing you safe travels and a wonderful reunion with your family…
You write so well! Oh, I wish you had been able to take pictures or video! I have a picture of Nicholas from a year ago in a similar celebration that another adoptive mom sent me. I will treasure it as it was before we met Nicholas. I am thinking of you, and wishing you safe travels and a wonderful reunion with your family…
You write so well! Oh, I wish you had been able to take pictures or video! I have a picture of Nicholas from a year ago in a similar celebration that another adoptive mom sent me. I will treasure it as it was before we met Nicholas. I am thinking of you, and wishing you safe travels and a wonderful reunion with your family…
Just another step…..getting much closer!
Blessings and safe travels to a wonderful reunion!
Julie
Just another step…..getting much closer!
Blessings and safe travels to a wonderful reunion!
Julie
Just another step…..getting much closer!
Blessings and safe travels to a wonderful reunion!
Julie
Dear Steph,
We have thoroughly enjoyed watching your relationship with Batyrhan blossom during this first trip to Kaz. Although we have not been consistent with our comments, we have read regularly, through teary eyes. The joy that shines through on your faces has been palpable.
Despite the ups and downs and delays that your family has endured to get to this moment, there seems to be no doubt that it has all happened to bring you to Batyrhan. What a perfect fit for your family. It is so easy to imagine him at home, playing with Emma and Eden.
We wish you both safe travels as you journey back to your daughters. Soon you will be snuggled up in bed watching movies with your girls. Before long, there will be another addition as Batyrhan cuddles in too. That moment won't come soon enough!
Sorry that we were not able to meet up with you in Almaty. We were really looking forward to giving you both bigs hugs of congratulations in person. It seems as though that will have to wait … some day.
Sending love from Maine (and Shymkent),
KJ, Steve, Tougy & Nurai
Dear Steph,
We have thoroughly enjoyed watching your relationship with Batyrhan blossom during this first trip to Kaz. Although we have not been consistent with our comments, we have read regularly, through teary eyes. The joy that shines through on your faces has been palpable.
Despite the ups and downs and delays that your family has endured to get to this moment, there seems to be no doubt that it has all happened to bring you to Batyrhan. What a perfect fit for your family. It is so easy to imagine him at home, playing with Emma and Eden.
We wish you both safe travels as you journey back to your daughters. Soon you will be snuggled up in bed watching movies with your girls. Before long, there will be another addition as Batyrhan cuddles in too. That moment won't come soon enough!
Sorry that we were not able to meet up with you in Almaty. We were really looking forward to giving you both bigs hugs of congratulations in person. It seems as though that will have to wait … some day.
Sending love from Maine (and Shymkent),
KJ, Steve, Tougy & Nurai
Dear Steph,
We have thoroughly enjoyed watching your relationship with Batyrhan blossom during this first trip to Kaz. Although we have not been consistent with our comments, we have read regularly, through teary eyes. The joy that shines through on your faces has been palpable.
Despite the ups and downs and delays that your family has endured to get to this moment, there seems to be no doubt that it has all happened to bring you to Batyrhan. What a perfect fit for your family. It is so easy to imagine him at home, playing with Emma and Eden.
We wish you both safe travels as you journey back to your daughters. Soon you will be snuggled up in bed watching movies with your girls. Before long, there will be another addition as Batyrhan cuddles in too. That moment won't come soon enough!
Sorry that we were not able to meet up with you in Almaty. We were really looking forward to giving you both bigs hugs of congratulations in person. It seems as though that will have to wait … some day.
Sending love from Maine (and Shymkent),
KJ, Steve, Tougy & Nurai
what sweeeeeeet journey! and that boy!!! what a looker, wow!
what sweeeeeeet journey! and that boy!!! what a looker, wow!
what sweeeeeeet journey! and that boy!!! what a looker, wow!