So we wrote out our first big check towards this adoption experience and it felt huge to me. But not huge enough for me to make a big announcement yet, as I still don’t have any applications or contracts in to my agency, and the amount yet to do still seems insurmountable (from this distance.) How does one eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Start chewing.

I think I will honestly feel that it’s real when my dossier is complete and I’m in the waiting stage. This is going to have to be a very productive summer.

Well, as a result of a great meeting yesterday, I found Gary was quite relaxed today and very huggy towards me. More so than usual perhaps? Judy, who knew of Gary’s trepidation and fears, said to me that as she spoke she actually could see Gary visibly relaxing. She said she really thinks he is really 100% on board, even though his initial interest is purely to do this for me.

We saw friends today for a July 4th BBQ. Jen’s 7 month old son is so loved, held, kissed, coddled and cooed at. It is heartbreaking in a way to think that my child will never have been loved like that in the earliest stage of his life and the ramifications it will mean, and the work it will take to get to a good place. And as I know from Carolyn and Henry and the amazing strides that Henry has achieved, I know that slow and steady wins the race. It just takes time. I need to be fully aware and always remember this. There will be things to overcome and according to Judy, most can be overcome.

I feel more connected to Gary than I have in a while from yesterdays’s meeting. I guess it’s almost like we know a little secret that yesterday was the day of conception But again, lots more applications and official paperwork, but plucking down the first check to me meant we were taking the steps seriously.

Emma and Eden did not know we met with a social worker yesterday. The less they know the better. But, perhaps due to seeing two baby boys today, at bedtime tonight, Emma asked me if Dad and I decided on our baby brother. I said to her We are still thinking about it and she just sighed. I feel bad but I think I’ll be ready to tell her when we will be ready to make an official announcement to family and friends and then we can have her help us build the buzz of excitement.

I’ll just keep plugging away and maybe we’ll have made some headway in our dossier by September. It feels surreal that one day I’ll be on a plane to Kazakhstan, heading to the land of my child’s birth. Life can really be miraculous and surprising … and good.

Goodnight!

Steph

The post Home Study Visit appeared first on Stephanie Karp.

What is a Home Study — for those who don’t know and those who’d like to know more. The adoption home study is a detailed written report of your family compiled and prepared by a social worker. This can take about three months to finish (For us, due to various things both in and then four months of snafus beyond my control, it took about 7 months.) The adoption home study requires the prospective adoptive family to gather different documents, answer several questions, and explore their reasons for adopting. Through a series of visits and interviews the social worker can get a complete picture of who you are and what life is like in your family. The adoption home study is a part of the decision making process for both the prospective family and the workers. Not only can the adoption home study help the worker place a child into your home who would best fit into your family, but help the family and the worker decide if now is a good time for your family to adopt.

The adoption home study can include the following pieces of information. Keep in mind that each state or country, in an international adoption, may require different information. Our family backgrounds, education, neighborhood and community, physical health, financial statements (very detailed), criminal clearances (including FBI fingerprint checks and child abuse clearances), references from dear people in your life, interviews which include a visit to your home, description of other children in your home if applicable — almost a biography of YOU in regards to your decision to adopt.

And now, we finally have it!

Today started out as an ordinary day. A slow morning, then some craziness from my kids followed by chaos, followed by Time Outs, followed by Eden falling asleep on her bed due to her own exhaustion. Emotionally drained, I, too, then took a nap to prep myself for my afternoon which was to involve caring for my dear friend Jen’s children (age 4 and 15 months) for almost three hours, along with my own. It had been a long time since I had a few hours with a 15 month old — to care, feed and diaper. Thankfully, and with the help of my marvelous mom who stayed with me to help man the forts, it came back easily.

Today reinforced a few things for me.
— A 15 month old is a joy to be around.
— It is exciting to be able to sign again (Tyler is a very active signer!)
— Eden displayed no jealousy in my caring for Tyler (and really has never shown this when I have held babies.) For now, of course, as I can not be naive to think it will *never* rear its head.
— Although Eden only has 2 friends, I’m glad she picked Kaitlyn as her main squeeze. They have an adorable and special friendship, made even more special by the fact that Jen and I know each other since childhood too.
— Emma is a remarkable, trusted carer whose services I didn’t request but who genuinely LOVED hamming for Tyler, making him laugh with the kooky things my daughter does when she thinks she’s a rapper, holding him, feeding him, engaging him and having him lay on her.
— Furthermore, it was reinforced to me what an amazing bridge other children are when dealing with babies and toddlers. The choice to eventually take our children to Kaz was not made lightly and now, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Emma, and by that time, Eden, will surely help us all bond as a family in a way that perhaps Gary and I couldn’t alone. We’d bond as parents to a baby, in a false sense of being a family of three … but something about how Emma was with Tyler today, and she always is with Carolyn’s Henry, has shown me that she will be the bridge that makes us feel like a true family of 5, fairly immediately. This is my hope, at least.

I told Emma and Eden tonight how proud I was of them, that after the rough start to our day, they showed themselves to be wonderful hosts, good friends and above all, really fantastic with a baby in the house. I rubbed my chin as if in thought and said to them … “You know, your behavior tonight really showed me that you’d be wonderful sisters to a brother … Hmmm, you are really making me think that it would be great to have a brother in the house.” Eden smiled, and Emma squealed with her hands over her mouth and then said “When??? TOMORROW??!” I said these things take time. Again, just reinforcing to me how right I was/am, when I say I really can’t announce anything to them officially until fairly soon before travel. Then we can really look at a calendar and know the reality of a brother would soon be upon us.

For now, a small blue and green globe sits on Emma’s dresser and she often asks me to point out where her little friend Henry was born. Sometimes at night, we discuss how when the sun is shining brightly here, the sun has set over all the little children sleeping in Kazakhstan and now that we are ready for bed, all the little children are waking up over there. One day, she will be able to tell her little brother the same bedtime story.

With a happy heart and a knowledge that I can and do make my dreams into my reality, I bid you goodnight!

Above, Kaitlyn and Eden in their Unusually Serious Wedding Day Pose

Pretty much how Kaitlyn and Eden look every time they are together.

Above, my dad, Emma and oh so comfortable Tyler

And Emma, just chillaxin’ and very comfy in the role of Big Sis

The post Sweet success! AKA Our Home Study Arrives! appeared first on Stephanie Karp.