Yes, we spoke about giving him some time and a date was set that we’d revisit the idea of adoption again. But so many nights I want to share with my dear husband things I learned that day. I’m just looking through some agency web sites and coming across various interesting articles.
Last night he crumpled up his face with upset when I read to him from a letter that told what the options were for children who were not adopted by age 13. I guess he imagines our own girls living such a life and it breaks his heart. He wanted to know what the “forgotten ages” are. Most people want as young a baby as possible. Many older adoptive parents take an older child. Is there an age that sort of gets bypassed in the mix?
When I think of my dear sweet girl, just 2 1/2, I would want to take home someone her age to protect that innocence and inquisitiveness that I see in her. But in reality, I think a younger child would pose fewer acclimation risks which would in turn be easier for my girls to get to know a new member of the family, and vice versa.
Today I spoke to another great contact who has been a social worker in the field of adoption for many years. She has two biological boys and is in the process of adopting her daughter from Kazakhstan. She was so informative and great to speak to, as she also feels compelled to adopt into her family while having biological kids as well. She was wise and had great points. I just wish it wasn’t for the fact that I fear us “aging out” of the Kaz program. But she really drove home the point for me to lay low on my husband for now, as it really should come and derive from him as if he thought of the idea himself. She pointed out that I wouldn’t want to be resented by my husband if god forbid something were to happen that we didn’t expect in regards to the new child.
She is so wise, so right. I want this adoption to come from both of us, if it is to come from us at all. If it is to be, it will be. So therefore, I relinquish it to the powers that be …
