Catch Up Time

It’s been a while since I have posted. Where to begin. I have been a bit upset about a timing snafu that has occurred very early in my adoption paperwork process. Just as I have heard over and over again — Expect the unexpected. In between feeling really bad about my mess up, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason and that the timing is going to work out exactly as it needs to to get our son home.

So … what happened is the following. If you refer to my timeline, I believed I was handing in final documents to my Home Study Agency in the first few days of October. After crossing all my Ts and dotting my Is and being so diligent in other areas of this process, I’m not quite sure what made me think that the Child Abuse Clearance and the New York State Criminal Record Fingerprints were some of the *last* paperwork required. Perhaps I confused this with something else or just wasn’t thinking it through? After all, I have already admitted to being someone who sends her daughter to school in regular clothing on Pajama Day and sends the other daughter on the same day to school in Orange, when it was Red Day, so of course confusion is not unheard of in my world. Anyhoo, it was only once I sent everything in, thinking that the procedures for these items would take just days and then my HomeStudy would be complete and FINAL, leading me on to all the subsequent steps, that I find out that these clearances are a 4-6 week process. The realization of my faux-pas floored me. How could I have been so foggy headed? After all my lengthy decision making, I had never intended to delay our journey any longer. But it was no longer up to me. I tried to just go with the flow. And wait the 4-6 weeks. What was so bothersome is that the homestudy report was actually done and our Social Worker was just waiting for these clearances to come back from the Home Study Agency. Once the clearances came through, I could then complete my I600A application by sending in a final homestudy report. This in turn, would lead me to the I171. Everything leads to the next, a rolling snowball gaining momentum and leading us closer to complete our family. And lo and behold, I just stalled myself by 4-6 weeks. OY VEY!

To compound things, for the past three weeks, I could not get a hold of my HomeStudy Agency (different from our Social Worker). I know she works another job as well so there was the reality of timing. I could never seem to catch her. But a phone call back to just touch base, that “Yes, I got your paperwork and it’s still in process,” would have eased my worried heart. Today, I finally got that return call, and was told that, not only have our clearances taken way longer than is usual, but both my and my husband’s fingerprints have been rejected due to smudging. Four weeks of waiting through this process just to be told that our prints are unacceptable was Murphy’s Law (though I know this is not uncommon at all.) However, tomorrow I am expecting another call back from the agency telling me if our duplicate set of prints (after all, we each did two sets just in case something like this happened) has been approved. If by some chance it has not, then we’ll be mailed other Fingerprint cards to RE-DO immediately, and the agnecy will expedite them through the process.

I was hoping to travel over the summer to make it easy for my husband and my children’s work and school schedules. But again, I must relinquish all of those wishes, because I know that this timeline is not my own. It’s a time in my life that, although I’m disappointed, I have to realize that It is What It is. I took my time getting the process rolling to begin with with a very lengthy Decision Making Mode. Now being ready, I can’t expect it all to go flawlessly. I do hope, however, that the important stuff in regards to our child is smooth as butta.

Furthermore, Gary is not really part of this dossier/homestudy collection. Now yes, he goes with me to fingerprint appointments and doctor visits, but he’s just following my lead. If I tried to explain what happened with the fingerprints, I’d have to make it in very clear terms. Simply, we might just have to do this again. He has not felt the effects of the four weeks of waiting, so it’s not the same for him. I have to get used to waiting, as once the Dossier is in, I almost have to just live my life and let it go. It will pass through the process at the timing it was supposed to.

So that was my Snafu and Upset this past month. Hopefully, it will all be worked out perfectly for us to unite with Baby Boy at the right time.

On other lovely news, we had a great visit with Carolyn and Henry a few weeks back on October 18th. What special friends we have in them. The joy it brings me to see Emma and Eden play with Henry is just great. I continue to be amazed at my childrens’ openness to others, their desire to love another baby and have one join our family. They surprise me each time, even though by now I should know to expect it.

Here is a photo that Carolyn took of our kids in May 2008 and the same shot just a few months later in October 2008. Click on the image to enlarge and see what a few months can do. I look forward to these photos throughout the coming years!

And here are a couple of photos of the girls, taken by Carolyn. Emma and Eden are sporting a couple of the embellished hair clips I have been making as practice for my future fundraising endeavor: Clips for Kaz! (stay tuned …)

Today, my friend Oriana and her two sons came over. Frankie is one of Eden’s best friends. They now live in NJ so it was really great to have them visit. Her new baby is just 6 months old. Once again, how Emma and Eden both were with this little boy was remarkable. I complimented Emma at the end of the evening about how great she was with all of the little kids and even the baby. She was very proud of herself and said “Does that mean I get to have a little brother?”

Emma kept the 3 year olds very busy playing school and cutting out fruits and veggies and these crowns announcing it was Fruit and Vegetable Day. Even she must have felt the effects of too much Halloween candy.

Here are just a couple of photos of Emma passionately explaining something to me. Though right now, I can’t remember what she was explaining. Nevertheless, I sure love her bright contagious enthusiasm. May she always be so passionate and excited about her ideas!

In regards to baby brothers, the kids still don’t know this is official. I think the wait would be unbearable and possibly, more so, incomprehensible. So I at least must wait until the Dossier is complete. These delays and snafus would be too confusing for them. One day, when they are older, they will read this journal and will be old enough to follow the journey to their little brother in earnest. I may be terrible at putting photo albums together (I’m not sure Eden even has one album!) but I thankfully, have always been a writer, a recorder of things and events. I know I’m too hard on myself about a million things lately (what’s up with that? ;-), and lack of photo albums being one of them. But with the dawn of a new era here, I think it’s high time I spent just 20 minutes a day towards the accomplishment of this seemingly inconsequential, but yet so meaningful, goal. I will no longer be satisfied showing the kids a photo on the computer. No longer be satisfied telling Emma just to look at a photo for a minute so that I can put it back in the right photo pile so that they remain in order for the day I will one day make the albums. This is the bain of my existence, when I’m not thinking of real important matters, of course! In one year from now, I do not want to be talking about this. And I am hopeful I won’t.

That being said, there are actually a few topics I don’t want to be talking about in a year 😉 I know I’m busy with the day to day of my life with two children and Gary’s very long hours, but I really want to remember to focus on stuff that is meaningful to me in a different kind of way. My photography, my writing, my exercise goals — the stuff that,aside from being a mom, makes me me. I am a huge idea person — I love the adrenaline rush of a fresh idea, a plan, a lightbulb moment, a burst of inspiration. But, a known fact, I just have always been challenged with seeing things through to completion. So although I adore my ideas, the satisfaction of completion is not often there for me. In many things, yes, but certainly not in all that I do. I am vowing now outloud that things are going to change. Goals will be met in 2009. Small, attainable. I want to trust myself. Yes, I can! 😉

Watching a bit of the NYC Marathon on TV the other day, my eyes filled with tears. How beautiful to see these runners! Not the running in and of itself, but the fact that these people trained, committed and dedicated themselves to something far greater than many of them perhaps ever thought they’d achieve. I may never run a full marathon, but I just spoke to my friend Alissa and we are going to commit to finding a worthy cause and running a 5K this spring. Something small, something attainable, but nonetheless, a goal reached. Compound this with last night’s history making election results, I have to realize that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE if I set my mind to it.

In other news … Ah, Halloween — not exactly a Jewish holiday, but a tradition we do participate in here in lovely Brooklyn, NY. I can not imagine a more fantastic place to Trick or Treat than my own idyllic neighborhood. Just a few blocks over from where I live, houses are semi-attached and super close together, and just a few steps lead up to the front door. Easy as pie to walk just a few blocks and come home with several pounds of candy. Unneccessary, but certainly fun for all involved. Eden, at one point, had enough with going door to door. She was content to suck on a huge lollipop and happily call it a day. Some streets have over 60 homes on them. In this area, the Halloween atmosphere is more Carnival and Block Party than I would think might be typical. The streets are literally teeming with HUNDREDS of children and families all in full holiday gear. The weather was perfect. People milling the streets, home owners giving out candy, drinking wine, laughing with neighbors, all the school kids recognizing each other … or not. It is remarkable and lovely to feel a part of this. And once again, when we do find ourselves in a suburb of NYC eventually, this Brooklyn feel that I love so much, will be an aspect especially missed. Can’t find parking when you run errands, but you gotta love a ‘hood with spirit.

Eden, Emma, Tyler and Kaitlyn (Eden’s Best Friend)

Eden and Kaitlyn

Emma and her good buddy, David, and his sister Kayla

Emma and her twin friends

A Neighborhood Dog with Halloween Spirit! Yet at the same time, quite sophisticated.

And finally … in my quest for more organization (I have recently added a large and lovely wall calendar in my kitchen that keeps me on my toes), I have followed the footsteps of an inspiring mom I recently met who has alarm clocks for her kids. So I went out yesterday to BJ’s to buy alarm clocks. It has made Emma and Eden feel so special to know the exact time, to be in charge of their own wake-up. Equipped with a CD player too, Emma woke up to Rihanna’s Disturbia today (she loves that kind of music) and Eden woke up to a more demure Laurie Berkner. Their clothing was laid out the night before, and this morning, both girls dressed themselves, washed their faces and brushed their teeth, before I had yet to say Good Morning to them. Slowly but surely all my systems will be in place, getting me ready for all 5 of us!

And now, I bid you goodnight.