I did it, I bought the first piece of clothing for Baby Boy. I remember doing this with girls when I was about 5 months pregnant and knew for sure I was having a girl. The first clothing purchase, so very pink and girly, always felt so special. A threshold crossed. Yes, I can envision you in this.

Yesterday I went to the mall to pick up some things for Emma and Eden for camp and bought some shorts in Children’s Place. And there I saw this little hoodie that I looked at, touched, put down, picked up again, touched all over, sighed over, then put back again, then just before leaving, quickly grabbed again. A size 12 months. Perhaps too small? The 18 month size seemed too huge but yet, perhaps more practical because it will have longevity.

I showed the sweatshirt to Gary and his face took on a softer look. I said
Do you feel something? He said, you know, I actually think I do! See, maybe he needs to see more visuals. He never did have a good imagination and he needs to see reality, that one day a little face will peer at him with loving eyes out from above this American flag.

Things are falling into place for me and everything seems serendipitous. Today I had a really unique opportunity to interpret in ASL a John Legend song called “If You’re Out There” for an AIDS awareness campaign. We were the only signing family. I practiced for at least 15 hours over the course of just a few short days! I became so fluent but then today … alas, I froze a bit during it and buried my face in my hands. The lights, the camera, the 20+ crew members just literally made my brain freeze! However, a few lines later I did get a hold of myself. OY! I did get to sign the song by myself once. Not sure how much Gary and Eden will be in it. I know the edits will be done so that the best lines from each group is used so no one will ever know I faltered … but still. I was like ARGH! I couldn’t be more proud of Emma, however — she was singled out to sign alone and she shone like a star. She told me “Mom, I made a mistake but I didn’t focus on it. I just kept thinking about how proud I was of myself.” My, have we come a long way. A few weeks back she was so upset for making a word slip up during a school reading and could barely sleep because of it. I told her no one is perfect, focus on the good of the experience. And today, she absolutely did!

We will be edited into a video with the “Real Housewives” of NY and NJ (whom we saw today at the shoot), some Broadway stars, some NFL players and some others who I don’t yet know. It was a very cool experience — and we’re also now invited to the video launch party next week which will feature Cynthia Nixon, Pamela Anderson, Margaret Cho, Joy Behar and others. How did I get involved? I actually once commented on an ASL YouTube video which led to some common ground with the signer who happens to work for this production company and lives in Brooklyn … and the rest is history. I bring this up, not only because it’s cool ;-), but because the production company is called Red Thread Productions and I had been wondering if the name was referring to the same red thread to which I think of as a prospective adoptive parent. I spoke to the owner of the company and asked her how she got her name. She told me “There is this Chinese saying …” I said, “I know it well.” And she began to tell me about her own adoption. The Universe is working in mysterious ways …

When the video becomes available to me in about two weeks, I will post the link so that you can see me in action with the Housewives. Some crew members asked each other “Which Housewife is she?” Now trust me, with the mist of rain in the air and my hair responding in kind, I looked more like a house frau than a Housewife. However, it was funny to be mistaken for a reality TV star 😉 I am discovering that I can and always will star in my own life if I keep saying Yes to what is most important to me.