Family Discussions

Emma has been bringing up the idea of a baby brother a lot. Today, Emma was hugging and kissing Eden and I commented on how loving she was and what a big sister. She said “I know! I just want to do this to a brother already!!” At night before bed, both girls were telling me all things they’d do with a baby brother. It includes absolutely EVERYTHING except changing poop diapers. So I said Let’s call Daddy up here and get him in on the conversation.

Emma began with “Dad, we are really good sisters and we want to share our love with a brother. On a scale of one to ten, I want a brother a TEN.” Gary seemed uncomfortable for a second saying “Really?” A non answer that bought him time. But then he began asking them questions and finding stuff out. We spoke about adoption again and how much love we all have to give and how very lucky we would be and our brother would be. And how very special this brother would be because if not for two sisters who desired a brother so very much, we might not be where we stand now. Emma wanted us to decide “right now” but I said this was an absolutely great discussion and this is a great start to more discussions about this. You can’t just go “right now” anyway, these things take time. I asked Emma how she would feel if I was pregnant and she said “Oh, I don’t want to be on The Baby Story again — that is too embarrassing!” How funny that she thinks that is just part of my every day birth experience. Additionally, she said I would feel embarrassed for you if you had a pregnant belly because people would really think you are pregnant. I said, but I would be pregnant so that is okay and secondly, having a belly that is big from being pregnant is absolutely nothing to ever be embarrassed about. It would be a beautiful thing!

So, I just came down and spoke to Gary and he told me that hearing what Emma and Eden had to say really helped him comprehend their desire and begin to feel much more comfortable with being able to expand our family through adoption and give Emma and Eden a baby brother. He seemed a lot more at ease in general. We need more of these conversations. I have them with Emma and Eden all the time but they sometimes seemed reluctant to bring it up in front of Gary, perhaps having sensed ambivalence in these final hours. However, tonight in the dark of Emma’s room, my cheeks were balled up in a silent smile for the words that were whispered in the dark between Gary and Emma and Eden. It’s all good … there is a real little boy who waits for us and it’s all gonna be just great.