Someone once said to me, in response to our decision to adopt, “There is nothing like your own.” You know what? They were right. I don’t need a court decree to tell me that Batyrhan is my son. I have known him 8 days but I have also known him all my life. My heart already breaks when he cries and I find joy just looking at him.
Gary and I were talking about love. What makes the difference of how we so far have visited Batyrhan just 7 days total about 2 hours each day versus if I had to babysit a boy of his age in my house for 2 hours a day for 7 days? What is different that makes me open my heart to him in such a manner? Knowing his history and where he is? Knowing that if not us, then who? My heart has opened up to him and we can not wait to bring him home to be a part of our every day, to know his sisters and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins.
There are people who have said “I could never love another kid” or “I could never do it. Good for you if you can.” I wish I could explain it but in my heart, for me, I knew it would be like this. And I wish to be able to impart this to others — that when you know that you have been selected to be the parent of a child who has absolutely no one in the world if not for a government run paid program (the orphanage) then you simply get your head in the game. The wonderful part for me and Gary is that it was felt mostly with the heart, and less with our heads. Gary never expected to feel this way. Months back, I had told friends that I hoped by the end of the year with our new child, I could say that Gary loves him. I feel that I was off in that assessment by about 359 days.
Of course there is a reality of being home with a toddler, but it’s not like I haven’t done that … oh, about two times before. He is a much more active child, that is for sure. I was told he also has hit other children and has bitten them. It can be normal behavior or a survival instinct. Either way, he’s still just a baby, I feel that with parenting, love and discipline he will soon properly know right from wrong. Overall, he can be calmed easily and seems to have a sweet soul, that is the feeling I am getting from him, even when he’s getting wild.
Today was an overall great visit, though we were back to the room where we first began our visits. Local families were in the music room so they gave us this room. It was not easy because it is a passage way between two rooms and there are lockers in the room where caregivers keep their belongings. So we had visitors in the room passing in and out with their jackets, laundry, tea. The door to Batyrhan’s group was ajar and we heard crying and singing and toys clanking. Often Batyrhan kept wanting to go towards that door. Once he was crying to reach his friends and running towards that door! It was distracting to be in this room and not easy to keep such an active little boy satisfied in a very small room with a hot plate and desk and lockers. We kept having to pull him back to our attention, and Svetlana, the caregiver I feel loves him a lot, kept directing his attention back to Mama and Papa. She spent some time writing out his schedule for us and sitting at the desk in the room and interacting with him too. I was very happy to get some of these moments on video — his caregiver speaking Kazakh to him and being very caring towards him.
I found out that he only recently began saying some words, that he gets bathed every day (his hair is always clean and he smells pleasant) and that he is not fully toilet trained, but has had some good toilet experiences. He wears a diaper when we is with us. Also, though not perfect, it appears his cold is much better. He must be on an antibiotic because his chest no longer rattles. I was not able to get this information until I speak to the pediatrician — the caregivers themselves did not know what medication, if any, he was on. I’m glad he’s feeling better as I have not yet had the opportunity to slip him some Elderberry Extract for his immune system. I will tomorrow though.
Here are some photos from today. We did not go outside and although hard in the small room, it felt like a calmer visit to just stay put.
Here, Daddy always gets the giggles. 
Mommy shows Batyrhan photos of his sisters. When the caregiver showed him Emma and Eden, she said the word for sisters in Kazakh and he repeated “Tateera.” This photo album was given to me by Carolyn long ago when this moment felt so far away. Now, the photo album has teeth marks on it from our little boy!
Mommy and Son — together at last and looking so at home together.
Batyrhan lets us hold him like this sometimes, which is very satisfying for us. When he’s done, he certainly lets us know with a little squirm and twist. And often a frustrated grunt. 
With Svetlana, Batyrhan’s caregiver.
The daily schedule for Batyrhan’s group written in Kazakh. I have the translation.
The Kazakh flag seen during our walk, blowing in the breeze.
Our shadows during today’s walk.
This last photo is an example of what happens every single day when we take a walk – we get giggled at and stared at. Whether because we are Americans and so very different looking or likely because Gary often takes his jacket off when he gets warm, a societal no-no, or just because we are just so darn good looking 😉
This is such a wonderful post Steph. I'm just starting to get caught up from being sick, so please forgive my lack of comments. You have certainly been on my mind every day!
Whenever I hear comments like those you initially started the post with, I feel bed for the person. Not in a mean way (though I admit sometimes the attitudes that come along with such statements are often irritating!), but in that they feel like they have to be limited in their love and openness and acceptance. I almost think it's like a close-minded pre-programming. The robot comes out of the box saying a limited amount of phrases. People are the same way. For whatever reason, they just say things like that without really opening their hearts and minds and THINKING about it for a little bit. Instead it's too easy to stick with the norm, give the status quo answer, and keep going with life. It makes me sad for them, and all the joy they are missing out on by automatically dismissing something out of the ordinary. 🙁
The pictures are so beautiful as is your son! I love your descriptions of everything!
This is such a wonderful post Steph. I'm just starting to get caught up from being sick, so please forgive my lack of comments. You have certainly been on my mind every day!
Whenever I hear comments like those you initially started the post with, I feel bed for the person. Not in a mean way (though I admit sometimes the attitudes that come along with such statements are often irritating!), but in that they feel like they have to be limited in their love and openness and acceptance. I almost think it's like a close-minded pre-programming. The robot comes out of the box saying a limited amount of phrases. People are the same way. For whatever reason, they just say things like that without really opening their hearts and minds and THINKING about it for a little bit. Instead it's too easy to stick with the norm, give the status quo answer, and keep going with life. It makes me sad for them, and all the joy they are missing out on by automatically dismissing something out of the ordinary. 🙁
The pictures are so beautiful as is your son! I love your descriptions of everything!
Love it! Welcome to the world of active boys!!! It's lots of fun! My friends with only girls ask me all the time how I handle two and I tell them that I think 2 is actually easier b/c they chase each other around and not me… who knows, maybe you'll head back to Kaz for #4??? I know I'm getting ahead of myself 😉 It's so exciting to hear how love as blossomed. How can you not love such a precious little guy??? I hope you are doing well and thanks so much for putting so much time into these posts. I just love reading them!
Love it! Welcome to the world of active boys!!! It's lots of fun! My friends with only girls ask me all the time how I handle two and I tell them that I think 2 is actually easier b/c they chase each other around and not me… who knows, maybe you'll head back to Kaz for #4??? I know I'm getting ahead of myself 😉 It's so exciting to hear how love as blossomed. How can you not love such a precious little guy??? I hope you are doing well and thanks so much for putting so much time into these posts. I just love reading them!
Stephanie, I love your post today(as I do everyday)and of course it brings me to tears, because I am so very happy for you all. Congratulations on your 'Ah-Ha' moment! Isn't it truly unexplainable, undescribable what this journey does to you, an adoptive parent. There is no difference between the love of an adopted vs a bio child. How quickly we become so very protective of that baby, who is ours. I have to agree with Jennifer above, on others comments, it is just sad how some think or feel, or think they would feel. We are all so very lucky to be chosen to follow that path, that 'red thread', to the child who is meant to be part of our family. I love Neil Hamiltons saying on your blog. (actually If I remember correctly, that may be what united you and I? I had it on my website also)It is so true, we may not know why we are feeling pulled to go on that path -but when we see our childs face, then we know the answer.
He is just blossoming, his eyes are sparkling and you either have one incredible camera, or that little boy has the most beautiful skin and coloring. You all are just glowing, and I love Garys interaction with him. Boys are so so fun. Yes, much more active and physical then girls ..but so fun!
Love you, enjoy your second bonding week.
Julie
Stephanie, I love your post today(as I do everyday)and of course it brings me to tears, because I am so very happy for you all. Congratulations on your 'Ah-Ha' moment! Isn't it truly unexplainable, undescribable what this journey does to you, an adoptive parent. There is no difference between the love of an adopted vs a bio child. How quickly we become so very protective of that baby, who is ours. I have to agree with Jennifer above, on others comments, it is just sad how some think or feel, or think they would feel. We are all so very lucky to be chosen to follow that path, that 'red thread', to the child who is meant to be part of our family. I love Neil Hamiltons saying on your blog. (actually If I remember correctly, that may be what united you and I? I had it on my website also)It is so true, we may not know why we are feeling pulled to go on that path -but when we see our childs face, then we know the answer.
He is just blossoming, his eyes are sparkling and you either have one incredible camera, or that little boy has the most beautiful skin and coloring. You all are just glowing, and I love Garys interaction with him. Boys are so so fun. Yes, much more active and physical then girls ..but so fun!
Love you, enjoy your second bonding week.
Julie
Stephanie, I love your post today(as I do everyday)and of course it brings me to tears, because I am so very happy for you all. Congratulations on your 'Ah-Ha' moment! Isn't it truly unexplainable, undescribable what this journey does to you, an adoptive parent. There is no difference between the love of an adopted vs a bio child. How quickly we become so very protective of that baby, who is ours. I have to agree with Jennifer above, on others comments, it is just sad how some think or feel, or think they would feel. We are all so very lucky to be chosen to follow that path, that 'red thread', to the child who is meant to be part of our family. I love Neil Hamiltons saying on your blog. (actually If I remember correctly, that may be what united you and I? I had it on my website also)It is so true, we may not know why we are feeling pulled to go on that path -but when we see our childs face, then we know the answer.
He is just blossoming, his eyes are sparkling and you either have one incredible camera, or that little boy has the most beautiful skin and coloring. You all are just glowing, and I love Garys interaction with him. Boys are so so fun. Yes, much more active and physical then girls ..but so fun!
Love you, enjoy your second bonding week.
Julie
Hi Steph,
After seeing how Steve reacted to Cody I had no doubt about Gary! It's like watching another miracle. I'm so happy to see the joy in all your faces! Our bonding room was a pass through attached to Cody's room. He was often distracted by music or crying. The workers would walk through all the time. It was nice when they would talk to him but could also get annoying. There was also a refridgerator looking thing that they would plug in to sterilize the dishes.
Your count down has begun – then you'll be with 2 and missing one!! Until the day when everyone is home!
Take Care – I can't believe its so warm there. I wonder if we'll end up in Almaty the same time? I hope to be there the 2nd or 3rd week of Jan. to bring Cody home. He will be escorted to us.
Julie R
The pictures are breath taking! So sharp and crisp and they speck a thousand words. I just look at them over and over again. I keep saying this but I feel so blessed that I am going to get to meet this special boy. To follow a blog is such an honor but in your case it is an honor but more so, I get to have a forever relationship with your little man. I can not wait to go get him an adorable "Henry outfit". lol
Thank you once again for specking straight from your heart and for sharing everything with us, I am not in Kaz with but I sure feel pretty darn close to it. Everyday I look forward to the next amazing post!
((hugs)) to you and Gary
xxxxxxxxooooooooo
The pictures are breath taking! So sharp and crisp and they speck a thousand words. I just look at them over and over again. I keep saying this but I feel so blessed that I am going to get to meet this special boy. To follow a blog is such an honor but in your case it is an honor but more so, I get to have a forever relationship with your little man. I can not wait to go get him an adorable "Henry outfit". lol
Thank you once again for specking straight from your heart and for sharing everything with us, I am not in Kaz with but I sure feel pretty darn close to it. Everyday I look forward to the next amazing post!
((hugs)) to you and Gary
xxxxxxxxooooooooo
The pictures are breath taking! So sharp and crisp and they speck a thousand words. I just look at them over and over again. I keep saying this but I feel so blessed that I am going to get to meet this special boy. To follow a blog is such an honor but in your case it is an honor but more so, I get to have a forever relationship with your little man. I can not wait to go get him an adorable "Henry outfit". lol
Thank you once again for specking straight from your heart and for sharing everything with us, I am not in Kaz with but I sure feel pretty darn close to it. Everyday I look forward to the next amazing post!
((hugs)) to you and Gary
xxxxxxxxooooooooo
What a beautiful post!! Svetlana was one of Ben's caretaker's as well and I recognize the little room you were in today all too well. It is distracting being right next to the group's room. All of your smiles are beautiful!! Happy late Anniversary! =Julie Woods
What a beautiful post!! Svetlana was one of Ben's caretaker's as well and I recognize the little room you were in today all too well. It is distracting being right next to the group's room. All of your smiles are beautiful!! Happy late Anniversary! =Julie Woods
What a beautiful post!! Svetlana was one of Ben's caretaker's as well and I recognize the little room you were in today all too well. It is distracting being right next to the group's room. All of your smiles are beautiful!! Happy late Anniversary! =Julie Woods
Great post, very well written!
Great post, very well written!
Great post, very well written!
Hi there. Lovely to see your update. Your little man is just a wee character. You can just see the personality busting out of him – he is go go go! He really reminds me of our Kazmanian devil. Like you we have our bio child first (a girl) and then our Orin came into our lives………it has truly never been the same since. Boys (for us anyway) are definitely very very different, very busy, very energetic, very loving, very lovable!! Our Orin is now 4.5 and loves to ask about his birth. I like to tell him that while his sister grew in my tummy, he grew in my heart (the whole idea of him, then meeting him and getting to know and love him in person as opposed to the dream of him) Having a bio and adopted child is a wonderful thing……..I like to think that all children come from God, some just have a longer journey home!.
When people tell us Orin is so lucky that we adopted him I always feel pity for them – have they no idea how lucky we are to have this charming little boy in our family and lives? Truly life has never been the same since we met him 3.5 years ago – and wasn't that the whole idea when we went to adopt?
Enjoy every moment in Almaty. Your blog is bringing back so many memories. We spent 9 weeks there in 2006.
Cheerio
Hi there. Lovely to see your update. Your little man is just a wee character. You can just see the personality busting out of him – he is go go go! He really reminds me of our Kazmanian devil. Like you we have our bio child first (a girl) and then our Orin came into our lives………it has truly never been the same since. Boys (for us anyway) are definitely very very different, very busy, very energetic, very loving, very lovable!! Our Orin is now 4.5 and loves to ask about his birth. I like to tell him that while his sister grew in my tummy, he grew in my heart (the whole idea of him, then meeting him and getting to know and love him in person as opposed to the dream of him) Having a bio and adopted child is a wonderful thing……..I like to think that all children come from God, some just have a longer journey home!.
When people tell us Orin is so lucky that we adopted him I always feel pity for them – have they no idea how lucky we are to have this charming little boy in our family and lives? Truly life has never been the same since we met him 3.5 years ago – and wasn't that the whole idea when we went to adopt?
Enjoy every moment in Almaty. Your blog is bringing back so many memories. We spent 9 weeks there in 2006.
Cheerio
Thanks so much for sharing. Anyone who says you can't love an adopted child as much as a biological one has never adopted a child. I have adopted three children and can't imagine loving a biological child more than my three angels. Biology has nothing to do with it. It is definitely a matter of the heart.
Enjoy your sweet angel!
Thanks so much for sharing. Anyone who says you can't love an adopted child as much as a biological one has never adopted a child. I have adopted three children and can't imagine loving a biological child more than my three angels. Biology has nothing to do with it. It is definitely a matter of the heart.
Enjoy your sweet angel!