Written Monday, December 14, 2009 Almaty at Noon
Exhausted and emotionally fatigued but happy and relieved. There is a little boy, about 2 years old, who made me cry with joy and relief upon seeing him when they walked him in, a reaction I did not expect to have. I never even cried at the moment of my wedding or births, but this was a relief of built up emotion and relief that he was cute and here in front of me and a feeling in my gut that told me this would all work out.
At 9:35 am, after another hearty breakfast, we were picked up by our driver, Emankule.
[Notes from my journal notebook say: In car now ready to pick up Tatyana at the City Hall and head to the Baby House. Feel anxious but calm and hopeful.
9:50 pm: Just met Tatyana at City Hall and signed our names in a registry for allowance to visit the Baby House. It was a quick in and quick out. Weather is brisk but comfortable, sun is shining. Gary has jacket open, likes the weather, seems relaxed, joked that it seems that we are on a secret mission here. Our driver Emankule uses gestures and we just follow him and go. He is a former athlete, a wrestler. A tiny man but strong with gold teeth and a nose that looks as if it’s been broken a good many times. Now we are back in the car waiting for Tatyana to come out again with the paper she needs for us. The car is a comfortable Lexus (Tatyana’s son works at a dealership in Florida) and no seatbelts are used (they are hidden beneath this grey furry seat comforter and for now I have not asked for them to be revealed. I will soon.) Russian Lite-FM style music is playing on the radio. Feel at peace.]
This is a photo of Gary waiting in front of Almaty’s City Hall right before we headed to the Baby House #3 for the first time.
When the car slowed ten minutes later and we entered a complex with low buildings and an impressive playground area, I asked “Is this it?” We got out of the car and Gary and I touched pinkies, a gesture we have always used to show solidarity together. From here everything happened so quickly. We entered the baby house doors to a darkened foyer with silvery threads of streamers hanging down, festive for the holidays, but the atmosphere was spare and quiet. I said to Gary “I can not believe we are here.” Just as anticipated, the scent of cooking cabbage, a warm and homey scent, filled the air. Tatyana told us to sit on the couch but we didn’t, just stood looking at the ceiling strands. A minute later Tatyana poked her head back to us and said “We’re ready now.” She ushered us in to the Baby House Director’s Office just a few steps away where the director, in her white coat, sat stoically in the chair behind a desk wearing a medical mask. It was an odd feeling — I felt the reception from her to be such that I just not speak and follow along. I believe Gary and I nodded a smile and hello to her. We sat. I whispered (felt the need to) to Tatyana if I could take my jacket off. I did. A minute or less of back and forth in Russian from Tatyana to the Director. I was waiting for some big announcement to be made, some formal introduction of this boy, some paperwork to be looked through in front of me. But no, it was simply that the door to my right just opened up. It was approximately 10:05 am that I first laid eyes on the boy who will be my son.
I would never be able to tell you what the caregiver looked like because when the door opened to the Director’s office and in he walked holding the hand of a woman in white, my eyes couldn’t leave him. “Is this him? Is he the one?” I whispered to Tatyana. She nodded. He was scared and slow to enter the room, cried quite a bit and was offered candy to calm him (a rare treat, I am told), kept looking up at caregiver as if to say “help me” (all the while I thought this was a natural thing and therefore a good sign) but I didn’t get too close when I offered him the balls, and he came toward me, attempting to hold back tears. Sniffling and looking back at the caregiver who coaxed him with the words of “Mama” and “Papa”. My dear Gary got the first small giggle and smile when he kept throwing the ball up — it was this gesture that was met with that brief smile. Thank you so much to those who told me they wished they had taken a photo the first day they met their child, because we did take a photo though not of me holding him. There is some brief video of him playing and other video of me holding him trying to console this crying boy who was really scared not of me per se, but the situation I presented. I will try to get a prettier photo tomorrow, as the photo I have now shows a very scared looking post crying boy. But I will post this as well tomorrow.
Let me describe him for you — He is about 2 years old and is Kazakh. What struck me first upon seeing him is a cute button nose and a very pronounced dimple or cleft in his chin. He has light brown hair cut into a lovely but mild mullet. His eyes are dark brown, cute little upturned Asian eyes and his lips look full and so are his cheeks. He was dressed very warmly with knit tights under his dark khaki pants, socks and green wool shoes which closed with a button with rubber soles. He had a winter themed red and gray striped sweater on and likely was wearing a shirt under it as well. And he had a runny nose, which for those who know me and my pet peeve about runny noses, I did not have a problem wiping Batyr Han’s nose. This is his first name, two words, though I am not certain how to spell it. A google search has revealed that Batyr in Kazakh means Leader, Man of Courage, Hero, Athlete and also, most interestingly The Dashing Equestrian.
I went to hold him when he was crying, even though I was the cause of his distress. He felt fairly light, didn’t struggle but clearly wasn’t happy. Gary seemed very concerned for him and wanted the caregiver back to make Batyr Han feel safe. Back to the floor as this was a less stressful situation for him so we played with a huge stacking ring toy and he really seemed to enjoy putting the rings on the pole. I made the brief mistake of trying to help him find the correct side of the pole to insert — a mistake because I know that “exploration” is all of the fun. I won’t do it again — Let him explore this new world! I heard him babbling a bit and he kept saying “Ma” but I later found out that it is Kazakh for “take” and this makes sense as he kept handing me and Gary balls and rings. When the care giver eventually came to get him in the play room where we did ultimately settle in at 10:15 am, a full 40-50 minutes after we first saw him, he actually seemed reluctant to leave. He was carried off and that was it. When we left the play area, I heard children’s music coming from upstairs and again was met with the cooked cabbage scent, which made me feel thankful for knowing that this scent would be part of my experience, like hundreds of people before me.
What happily surprised me very much is that when we came back to the hotel room, Gary wanted to watch the video of Batyr Han a few times. And later still, asked for me to show him the photos again.
I can’t thank you all enough for your love and support during this time. When I read your posts and emails and messages on here and Facebook, I am touched beyond belief and do not feel so far away.
Tomorrow we visit with Batyr Han from 4-6 pm. I don’t think the time will come fast enough for me.
View out our window of Hotel Kazakhstan — Late afternoon, Monday December 14, 2009
Stephanie and Gary! Congratulations! Oh my, bring on the tissues! What a devine appointment. It sounds as if the timing has all worked out as it was meant to. I am so extremely happy and excited for you. And absolutly anxious to see pictures of you and your new son-to-be. Positive thoughts continuing your way, for more good news to come. Dreams really do come true! Enjoy these life changing moments and memories you are making. What a very special story he will have.
xoxo Julie
Stephanie and Gary! Congratulations! Oh my, bring on the tissues! What a devine appointment. It sounds as if the timing has all worked out as it was meant to. I am so extremely happy and excited for you. And absolutly anxious to see pictures of you and your new son-to-be. Positive thoughts continuing your way, for more good news to come. Dreams really do come true! Enjoy these life changing moments and memories you are making. What a very special story he will have.
xoxo Julie
Stephanie and Gary! Congratulations! Oh my, bring on the tissues! What a devine appointment. It sounds as if the timing has all worked out as it was meant to. I am so extremely happy and excited for you. And absolutly anxious to see pictures of you and your new son-to-be. Positive thoughts continuing your way, for more good news to come. Dreams really do come true! Enjoy these life changing moments and memories you are making. What a very special story he will have.
xoxo Julie
Oh Steph, I crying HAPPY HAPPY tears for you. Your story of meeting him is, well what can I really say… perfect. He is your son and all the waiting and twists and turns… we now know why.
I wish I could write more but I am on walking out the door to the hospital.
I love you and I can not wait to rerad more and see pictures later.
xxoo
Oh Steph, I crying HAPPY HAPPY tears for you. Your story of meeting him is, well what can I really say… perfect. He is your son and all the waiting and twists and turns… we now know why.
I wish I could write more but I am on walking out the door to the hospital.
I love you and I can not wait to rerad more and see pictures later.
xxoo
Oh Steph, I crying HAPPY HAPPY tears for you. Your story of meeting him is, well what can I really say… perfect. He is your son and all the waiting and twists and turns… we now know why.
I wish I could write more but I am on walking out the door to the hospital.
I love you and I can not wait to rerad more and see pictures later.
xxoo
Yay!! I am so, so, happy for you! Congratulations on meeting your son! Wow! I can't wait to see pictures. He sounds absolutely adorable from your description.
You sound like you guys are doing so well. I'm so happy for you Steph!
Yay!! I am so, so, happy for you! Congratulations on meeting your son! Wow! I can't wait to see pictures. He sounds absolutely adorable from your description.
You sound like you guys are doing so well. I'm so happy for you Steph!
Yay!! I am so, so, happy for you! Congratulations on meeting your son! Wow! I can't wait to see pictures. He sounds absolutely adorable from your description.
You sound like you guys are doing so well. I'm so happy for you Steph!
Congratulations, I was waiting so much for this new, this was the first thing I did this morning (and probably Yul;ia and gabi will be a little late to school – but this is OK :).
What a relief, that you found him and he is healthy and everything went OK. I am so so much happy for you!
Congratulations, I was waiting so much for this new, this was the first thing I did this morning (and probably Yul;ia and gabi will be a little late to school – but this is OK :).
What a relief, that you found him and he is healthy and everything went OK. I am so so much happy for you!
Congratulations, I was waiting so much for this new, this was the first thing I did this morning (and probably Yul;ia and gabi will be a little late to school – but this is OK :).
What a relief, that you found him and he is healthy and everything went OK. I am so so much happy for you!
Thank god. I am so happy for you guys I have tears in my eyes. You have met your son and he sounds soo sweet. I cannot wait to see photos and I am thrilled you are taking copious notes, as this will all feel like a dream when you come home between trips.
Congratulations, Karp Party of 5 has been created.
Sandi
Thank god. I am so happy for you guys I have tears in my eyes. You have met your son and he sounds soo sweet. I cannot wait to see photos and I am thrilled you are taking copious notes, as this will all feel like a dream when you come home between trips.
Congratulations, Karp Party of 5 has been created.
Sandi
Thank god. I am so happy for you guys I have tears in my eyes. You have met your son and he sounds soo sweet. I cannot wait to see photos and I am thrilled you are taking copious notes, as this will all feel like a dream when you come home between trips.
Congratulations, Karp Party of 5 has been created.
Sandi
Steph, What an amazing ride it has been for you.I am glad you had a great experience this morning.I remember Tatyana sitting there with me when they brought Dylan in like it was yesterday..Only I froze..
I hope you enjoy the next two weeks..It will go by very fast so take in every second of it..My only regret was not listening to Julie's wise words "Lea take in every moment trust me"
Hugs Lea
Steph, What an amazing ride it has been for you.I am glad you had a great experience this morning.I remember Tatyana sitting there with me when they brought Dylan in like it was yesterday..Only I froze..
I hope you enjoy the next two weeks..It will go by very fast so take in every second of it..My only regret was not listening to Julie's wise words "Lea take in every moment trust me"
Hugs Lea
Steph, What an amazing ride it has been for you.I am glad you had a great experience this morning.I remember Tatyana sitting there with me when they brought Dylan in like it was yesterday..Only I froze..
I hope you enjoy the next two weeks..It will go by very fast so take in every second of it..My only regret was not listening to Julie's wise words "Lea take in every moment trust me"
Hugs Lea
It was like Christmas morning here in Maine. We woke up and ran downstairs all excited to check the blog. Well of course we were both in tears before we had even finished the headline. We are so overjoyed for you Steph (and of course Gary too), but really, after all you have posted during this loooong process, we feel as if know your heart and your hopes and some of your fears, and to awake this morning and see the glowing report of 'the moment', well it sort of renews our faith in the process.
He sounds wonderful for you and your family and I can't wait to see photos of you all together. I know it must be very difficult to be without the girls at this time, but the bonding you three will be able to achieve during your time in Almaty will be amazing.
Our love and support to you all from across these many miles.
It was like Christmas morning here in Maine. We woke up and ran downstairs all excited to check the blog. Well of course we were both in tears before we had even finished the headline. We are so overjoyed for you Steph (and of course Gary too), but really, after all you have posted during this loooong process, we feel as if know your heart and your hopes and some of your fears, and to awake this morning and see the glowing report of 'the moment', well it sort of renews our faith in the process.
He sounds wonderful for you and your family and I can't wait to see photos of you all together. I know it must be very difficult to be without the girls at this time, but the bonding you three will be able to achieve during your time in Almaty will be amazing.
Our love and support to you all from across these many miles.
It was like Christmas morning here in Maine. We woke up and ran downstairs all excited to check the blog. Well of course we were both in tears before we had even finished the headline. We are so overjoyed for you Steph (and of course Gary too), but really, after all you have posted during this loooong process, we feel as if know your heart and your hopes and some of your fears, and to awake this morning and see the glowing report of 'the moment', well it sort of renews our faith in the process.
He sounds wonderful for you and your family and I can't wait to see photos of you all together. I know it must be very difficult to be without the girls at this time, but the bonding you three will be able to achieve during your time in Almaty will be amazing.
Our love and support to you all from across these many miles.
Steph,
I made myself wait until I got to work to check your blog!! I'm SO happy and excited for you all! It won't take long for him to totally warm up to you and Gary. Cody seemed to reach Steve much more than me which I know is a HUGE blessing. It was a wonderful joy to watch them bond and I wish the same for you!
What an awesome first meeting – the way you wrote the details made me feel like I was there. These details will help keep your memories alive forever!
Congrats and continued happy visits!
Julie
Steph,
I made myself wait until I got to work to check your blog!! I'm SO happy and excited for you all! It won't take long for him to totally warm up to you and Gary. Cody seemed to reach Steve much more than me which I know is a HUGE blessing. It was a wonderful joy to watch them bond and I wish the same for you!
What an awesome first meeting – the way you wrote the details made me feel like I was there. These details will help keep your memories alive forever!
Congrats and continued happy visits!
Julie
Steph,
I made myself wait until I got to work to check your blog!! I'm SO happy and excited for you all! It won't take long for him to totally warm up to you and Gary. Cody seemed to reach Steve much more than me which I know is a HUGE blessing. It was a wonderful joy to watch them bond and I wish the same for you!
What an awesome first meeting – the way you wrote the details made me feel like I was there. These details will help keep your memories alive forever!
Congrats and continued happy visits!
Julie
I'm so excited!!!!!! He sounds like a complete doll!!!! Enjoy bonding and give him a hug for me!!! =)
I'm so excited!!!!!! He sounds like a complete doll!!!! Enjoy bonding and give him a hug for me!!! =)
Steph and Gary, and Emma and Eden, Congratulations on finding him! I am so thrilled for you. I was thinking about you ALL night last night and wondering where you were. He sounds perfect and your description of him sounds beyond adorable. After all those years, Steph, all of those dreams, all of those trips to get your paperwork apostiled, all of the packing and unpacking, YOU FOUND HIM! Congratulations on finding your son. He sounds PERFECT!
So much love sent your way—-
Steph and Gary, and Emma and Eden, Congratulations on finding him! I am so thrilled for you. I was thinking about you ALL night last night and wondering where you were. He sounds perfect and your description of him sounds beyond adorable. After all those years, Steph, all of those dreams, all of those trips to get your paperwork apostiled, all of the packing and unpacking, YOU FOUND HIM! Congratulations on finding your son. He sounds PERFECT!
So much love sent your way—-
Dad & I are thrilled and so excited that you have finally met your son and our new grandson! He is one lucky little boy to have you and Gary for parents!! I can hardly wait to meet and hold him!!
Dad & I are thrilled and so excited that you have finally met your son and our new grandson! He is one lucky little boy to have you and Gary for parents!! I can hardly wait to meet and hold him!!
Dad & I are thrilled and so excited that you have finally met your son and our new grandson! He is one lucky little boy to have you and Gary for parents!! I can hardly wait to meet and hold him!!
How your words always bring tears to my eyes. I am so happy that you have made it to this point. Welcome to the family Batir Han. We can't wait to meet you in your new home.
Love,
Julie Terrana
How your words always bring tears to my eyes. I am so happy that you have made it to this point. Welcome to the family Batir Han. We can't wait to meet you in your new home.
Love,
Julie Terrana
How your words always bring tears to my eyes. I am so happy that you have made it to this point. Welcome to the family Batir Han. We can't wait to meet you in your new home.
Love,
Julie Terrana
PERFECT! So happy for you to have finally met him. I cried too when they brought Libbie in and it also was my husband who got her first smiles and giggles. I hope the rest of your time there is just FABULOUS! You will have time to see him blossom and open his heart to you whereas we only got 2 days in Russia to spend with our little one. Thank you for letting us all follow along. Can't wait to see pictures!!!
PERFECT! So happy for you to have finally met him. I cried too when they brought Libbie in and it also was my husband who got her first smiles and giggles. I hope the rest of your time there is just FABULOUS! You will have time to see him blossom and open his heart to you whereas we only got 2 days in Russia to spend with our little one. Thank you for letting us all follow along. Can't wait to see pictures!!!
PERFECT! So happy for you to have finally met him. I cried too when they brought Libbie in and it also was my husband who got her first smiles and giggles. I hope the rest of your time there is just FABULOUS! You will have time to see him blossom and open his heart to you whereas we only got 2 days in Russia to spend with our little one. Thank you for letting us all follow along. Can't wait to see pictures!!!
Congratulations!!! We are so thrilled for you, and we love reading your posts! We are so honored to be following along. We cannot wait to hear more about this wonderful little boy — your son. How awesome is that?!?! We are so happy for you all!
Congratulations!!! We are so thrilled for you, and we love reading your posts! We are so honored to be following along. We cannot wait to hear more about this wonderful little boy — your son. How awesome is that?!?! We are so happy for you all!
Congratulations!!! We are so thrilled for you, and we love reading your posts! We are so honored to be following along. We cannot wait to hear more about this wonderful little boy — your son. How awesome is that?!?! We are so happy for you all!
I am SO happy for you!! As I was walking my dogs this morning I thought, "I have to check Stephanie's blog as soon as I get back!" It's so funny that you mention a mullet…I remember seeing pictures of another little boy adopted from Kaz and noting that he had a mullet…must be the look over there! Anyway, congratulations…I can't wait to read more, and see pictures!
I am SO happy for you!! As I was walking my dogs this morning I thought, "I have to check Stephanie's blog as soon as I get back!" It's so funny that you mention a mullet…I remember seeing pictures of another little boy adopted from Kaz and noting that he had a mullet…must be the look over there! Anyway, congratulations…I can't wait to read more, and see pictures!
I am SO happy for you!! As I was walking my dogs this morning I thought, "I have to check Stephanie's blog as soon as I get back!" It's so funny that you mention a mullet…I remember seeing pictures of another little boy adopted from Kaz and noting that he had a mullet…must be the look over there! Anyway, congratulations…I can't wait to read more, and see pictures!
P.S. I am listening to this Tracy Chapman song on your blog and just overwhelmed with emotion. For you, for us, for all the families that have been formed through the beauty of adoption. For the children who are no longer alone. It is AMAZING.
P.S. I am listening to this Tracy Chapman song on your blog and just overwhelmed with emotion. For you, for us, for all the families that have been formed through the beauty of adoption. For the children who are no longer alone. It is AMAZING.
P.S. I am listening to this Tracy Chapman song on your blog and just overwhelmed with emotion. For you, for us, for all the families that have been formed through the beauty of adoption. For the children who are no longer alone. It is AMAZING.
Oh Steph, I am crying like a baby. I am so overwhelmed with JOY for you and your son-to-be! Truly, your journey has not been easy, but it all comes down to this. To a beautiful little Kazakh boy with a dimple in his chin.
I am smiling because his description sounds a lot like Milo, right down to the mild mullet. 🙂 I can't wait to see photos and videos of him.
Congratulations on meeting your sweet son. I am sure his personality will come out more and more as his fear subsides and he comes to know and love you and Gary as his mama and papa.
I am so happy for you!!! Much love and many big hugs!
Oh Steph, I am crying like a baby. I am so overwhelmed with JOY for you and your son-to-be! Truly, your journey has not been easy, but it all comes down to this. To a beautiful little Kazakh boy with a dimple in his chin.
I am smiling because his description sounds a lot like Milo, right down to the mild mullet. 🙂 I can't wait to see photos and videos of him.
Congratulations on meeting your sweet son. I am sure his personality will come out more and more as his fear subsides and he comes to know and love you and Gary as his mama and papa.
I am so happy for you!!! Much love and many big hugs!
Oh Steph, I am crying like a baby. I am so overwhelmed with JOY for you and your son-to-be! Truly, your journey has not been easy, but it all comes down to this. To a beautiful little Kazakh boy with a dimple in his chin.
I am smiling because his description sounds a lot like Milo, right down to the mild mullet. 🙂 I can't wait to see photos and videos of him.
Congratulations on meeting your sweet son. I am sure his personality will come out more and more as his fear subsides and he comes to know and love you and Gary as his mama and papa.
I am so happy for you!!! Much love and many big hugs!
Hooray hooray and congratulations! Those first few days are amazing – everybody just trying to figure out what it means to be a family, opening up, and getting comfortable with each other. It's one of the things I love most about adoption from Kaz is that getting to know you period. It's so funny looking back at Sasha's pictures from those first few days… she has completely transformed in so very few months. Congrats.
Hooray hooray and congratulations! Those first few days are amazing – everybody just trying to figure out what it means to be a family, opening up, and getting comfortable with each other. It's one of the things I love most about adoption from Kaz is that getting to know you period. It's so funny looking back at Sasha's pictures from those first few days… she has completely transformed in so very few months. Congrats.
Hooray hooray and congratulations! Those first few days are amazing – everybody just trying to figure out what it means to be a family, opening up, and getting comfortable with each other. It's one of the things I love most about adoption from Kaz is that getting to know you period. It's so funny looking back at Sasha's pictures from those first few days… she has completely transformed in so very few months. Congrats.
Wow it is amazing how different each baby house handles the introduction process…Just pull those seat belts out,I always did on that silly lexus..I told you about that lovely cabbage
xoxox lea
Wow it is amazing how different each baby house handles the introduction process…Just pull those seat belts out,I always did on that silly lexus..I told you about that lovely cabbage
xoxox lea
Wow it is amazing how different each baby house handles the introduction process…Just pull those seat belts out,I always did on that silly lexus..I told you about that lovely cabbage
xoxox lea
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Mazel tov on meeting your son! May you all enjoy getting to know one another.
Shanna
Congratulations, Stephanie and Gary. I am so happy for you all after such a long arduous journey to your son. THank you for opening the window into your heart to all of us, even those who remain unknown to you. I am really looking forward to the rest of your journey in Kaz and beyond and getting to know your beautiful son.
Best, Pam and Nicholas
Congratulations, Stephanie and Gary. I am so happy for you all after such a long arduous journey to your son. THank you for opening the window into your heart to all of us, even those who remain unknown to you. I am really looking forward to the rest of your journey in Kaz and beyond and getting to know your beautiful son.
Best, Pam and Nicholas
What a wonderful description of your first meeting. Pure magic. Congratulations! You will be amazed at how quickly your little man will warm up to you.
Can't wait to hear more 🙂
Best wishes
What a wonderful description of your first meeting. Pure magic. Congratulations! You will be amazed at how quickly your little man will warm up to you.
Can't wait to hear more 🙂
Best wishes
This is a moment you will never forget and we are so honored to be able to feel like I am sharing it with you. Your little boy has just started to see how lucky he is to be a part of your wonderful family.
Love, Jodie and Matt
This is a moment you will never forget and we are so honored to be able to feel like I am sharing it with you. Your little boy has just started to see how lucky he is to be a part of your wonderful family.
Love, Jodie and Matt
This is a moment you will never forget and we are so honored to be able to feel like I am sharing it with you. Your little boy has just started to see how lucky he is to be a part of your wonderful family.
Love, Jodie and Matt