These notes are transcribed from the paper journal I kept while traveling December 11-12, 2009. (I also updated previous “Meetcha Day” post with a few more details.)
Friday, December 11, 2009 10:42 pm
“Deliver me to safety. Deliver me to safety,” I whisper to myself, as the plane has just lifted off and out my window to the left, across Gary’s sleeping frame (already!), the twinkling golden lights of New York flash and wink.
I have not taken pen to paper in so long, having become quite fond of the soft clickety-clack of my keyboard. But even now, once again, I become more present as write in my fresh new spiral bound notebook.
So nervous for so long, I guess I do feel the peace spoken about from other adoptive parents heading to their children. It didn’t come when I clicked my seatbelt into place, but rather as soon as the plane reached a higher altitude. There was some turbulence upon take-off, perhaps felt more strongly because gary and I are in the last row of this huge Boeing 777. It’s quite nice actually – we are two by ourselves and though it’s the last row, we can recline.
Gary made certain to have a very relaxed schedule today. He was relaxed and jovial and I responded in kind. My testiness from the past few days, a result of short notice to travel, lots to do and very little sleep, slipped away.
Last night I was tying up so many loose endsand got concerned, after looking in the mirror at my graying roots, that there was one more thing I needed to do. So 3:30 am had me waiting in the bathroom with Chestnut goop in my hair and 4 am found me showering it off. The off to sleep and up at 7:20 am.
Adrenaline and a stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for a mocha latte has kept me alive today. I even managed to fit in a haircut.
Once the kids were home, with Gary home too, it was really nice. He felt it too and while still finishing up last minute packing, felt no stress. We actually decorated a gingerbread house today, the first we ever did. Then we did our 3rd night of Chanukah since we’ll be resuming when we get back home. 
Once at the airport, Gary’s trepidation over having left the kids became apparent. He realizes it’s best not to take the kids but he feels he didn’t sign up for this part. And it’s true, we always spoke about them going. I was hugging and kissing them all day and while they have verbalized how much they will miss us and wrote us countless letters of which they were so proud, they had had enough of hugging after a while. (Even Eden asked how to spell out all the words in her letter to me about how she will miss us and we will be back soon. She talks about loving the writing center at school and I can see her pride and joy.)
How sweet to bring the kids to my parents and my mom begin to cry right away. Sweeter still was my dad who didn’t let me go when I thought the hug was over, then still didn’t let go and sniffed back his tears. They are just so excited. 
Our family good bye hug before my dad took us to the airport
Once at the airport, Gary called his mom and then his Aunt Esther whose words of excitement touch Gary and calm him. In fact, when he was displaying signs of cold feet again, I said “Call Aunt Esther. She puts it all in perspective” And she did — speaking of this special miracle on Chanukah.
Dear Emma and Eden — Our hearts break to not be with you but this will all end in something wonderful for you. What a lucky boy to have such great and loving sisters all his very own! And lucky you to finally be getting a little brother! Sooner than we expected this time. Love, Mommy
