How To Tell The Girls

I am busting a gut to tell the girls. I’m so ready. I’m MORE than ready. They know … I know they know. Deep down, they know that having a brother must be very soon on the horizon. But they don’t know anything for sure. The don’t assume it is definitely happening in that they have never spoken about it outside of our family, have never told a random person or even a relative that they will be big sisters one day (Well, once they did say “if we have a brother” to my mother.) Over the past year, with the help of friends and families we have visited as well as our very open and communicative nature, I have educated and informed them about how many families come to be. Emma and Eden have learned about adoption and have met many children who were adopted. We discussed (in terms appropriate for their age) some reasons why some children are in a position to wait for Mommies and Daddies. We have even discussed cleft palates and cleft lips as we just donated to Operation Smile. My kids did not bat an eye. In fact, I am sure it made them more compassionate in many ways towards many children who might require medical care, and those who still wait for families.

This is going to happen, and it’s going to happen fairly quickly. At this point, we are waiting for a region assignment, with a possible first trip in November. Perhaps in January 2010, we will be a family of 5?

I want enough time now for the kids to absorb this all – enough time now for us to read books about adoption and openly talk with them and family members and have them share their excitement, their questions, their concerns, they joy.

Yesterday, in the car, Emma brought up again “if we have a brother …” and she said “If we are going to do it, let’s just figure this out already!” And “Let’s just do it tomorrow already!” In a way, it’s been good that I have held off, because of her request to have this happen immediately. Surely, when we tell them, I can flip one calendar page over and there will be perhaps a date or time frame circled and I can say “Emma and Eden – the time is now. This is when you are going to meet your brother.”
I am still in shock that this is happening in a way and wonder if when I get to Kaz, I will be in a state of disbelief. I think part of the remedy to that is to tell the kids and actively start talking about it in the next few months before we go.

So my question to my blog friends, is how to tell them? I envision this being videotaped, I want to capture the excitement, in whatever way it manifests itself, on record. I don’t know if a FlipVideo will do or a larger videocamera on a tripod somewhere hidden in the room. I just want this moment on tape but not contrived, just the way it is naturally. (I’m a huge documentary person in terms of photos and stuff on record for our family.)

I was thinking of a few things …

A) Simple way – Simply tell them they are going to be big sisters and that Daddy and I decided their dream to be big sisters is absolutely going to come true

B) A little creative — Get Big Sister balloons and have Gary bring them in to them while I’m chatting with them about something or have them walk into a room with a big bunch of these balloons in a cluster and then tell them

C) Creative or unclear, not sure — Read them a bed time story I wrote about a big sister telling a little brother about how much they wished for him and now he’s really here (I think they will get that it is them about a paragraph into the story though.)

If anyone has any sweet or memorable or just simple ways to tell them, I’d love to know your thoughts. Thank you!

Additionally, I wanted to also add that in the conversation in the car yesterday, as I have been thinking of “Expect the unexpected”, I told the kids that sometimes people wish for a baby brother but in fact get a bigger brother, still a young boy to play with, but not they baby-baby they envisioned. Emma said “I don’t care how old he is, I just want one already!!” I love that about Emma. In truth, I still maintain that for my family, for the fact that Eden is still so sensitive (lots of crying still and some babyish behavior at times) that a smaller baby who they can grow with is still best for us. Plus, they do adore real little babies and love to nurture these smaller children. But I just wanted to put that out there as a seed that might have to be planted.

In other news, someone I know who was previously opposed to the idea of adoption asked me if this was really going to happen. I said yes, it is! He said “This is so exciting!” and smiling, I replied “I know, but you didn’t think so when we spoke about it before!” He said but now it’s really happening, and it’s all very interesting. Then he put his arm around me and shook my hand and said “I have to tell you, you sure are a woman of your word.” You bet I am!!!! ;-)))