Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all my friends — moms and moms yet to be and moms at heart, and those who know and have known the love of a mother! I usually don’t put much value on Hallmark inspired holidays but this Mother’s Day was relaxing and special. My daughters were so excited over the course of the week to bestow upon me a deluge of handcrafted doodads that symbolized their love. I now understand why my mother saved so many of the cards I made for her over the years. These handcrafted sentiments, painstakingly thought about and written and colored, did really make me feel loved by my two precious daughters. I am very lucky to be their mom. I took the day slowly, no rushing, and enjoyed spending it with Gary’s family. It did not go unnoticed by me that next year, G-d willing, in the very same restaurant we enjoyed today or one very similar to it, I will be sitting next to a dark haired (or blond, who knows?) little boy in a booster seat breaking up bits of chicken and soft veggies for him to enjoy.

In the car ride out to New Jersey, I began a conversation with the whole family about the possibility of a brother. Though I haven’t announced to the girls yet, we certainly do have open dialog about adoption and possibilities. They believe it is a decision still to be made and I discuss it as if they and their values are all part of the process of building our family. The girls talk about the idea of it with me but they never (ever!) bring it up to Gary. I think they know he’s still hanging onto that middle area of the fence, not sure which way he teeters. With me, it’s a safe conversation. Emma and Eden are both remarkable with babies about one year old. They assured Gary they would love a brother as much as they love Tyler and Henry and I know that Gary would do anything to make them happy. And it appeared he did like to hear how much they desire this new member of our family. He obviously was ready for adoption in the way that we have proceeded as far as we have. But, and I can understand this, it’s still so mind boggling to him for us to have taken this amazing leap of faith to build our family in this way!

In the restaurant, no one brought up the adoption to me even though in my own head, I was surely thinking about it. It’s been 10 months since we first announced that we were sending in our initial application, and just a few weeks after that was the last time anyone asked me how it’s going. I suspect our dedication to this is questioned. When our dossier is fully complete (in two weeks or so) we will make an official and joyous announcement. For now, however, I enjoyed a beautiful holiday with my family. Enjoying my cup of coffee, with my celebratory waitress given rose on my lap ;-), I said a private little prayer in my heart for our baby boy across the ocean who has yet to know how hard we are working to bring him home.

I want to say a special thank you to my mother for being the kind of mother she is. I am continually surprised by people in my life who are themselves surprised by how much I enjoy my mother’s company. I think I got very lucky as my mother is someone with whom I would choose as a friend, had I met her in the street or at a mom’s group, were we peers back in the day. But I am lucky to be much closer than that to my mother, as the love we share and the closeness and familiarity is one I value as one of the greatest blessings of my life. And it is what I strive to carry on with my own daughters … and I think I’m doing a pretty good job of it. Mom, thank you for being such a special person in my life — for all that you taught me about mothering, unconditional love and support and about being a friend. You are a spectacular woman!

Blessings to all the moms and children out there today! And a very special Mother’s Day wish to Lea and Dylan, home together at last!

Steph