A huge congratulations to Lea and Dylan who became a family today! I loved reading Lea’s blog — to observe her adoption process, to see her life’s views and most importantly, to watch her love grow. I think blogs are amazing! I’ve shared some posts with my mom from Lea’s blog. She said “When Lea and Dylan come back home, let’s go meet them at the airport!” That sums up my mother for you. No other description needed for you to know what kind of person she is. In two more days, my mother retires to begin the next chapter in her life. It has been a long time coming and I look forward to spending a lot of time with her. I feel blessed to have this kind of relationship with my mother.
Had a great Sunday yesterday with the family — brunch out with the family, gynmastics for the kids, tennis game later on with gary where my butt was whipped, a mani/pedi and dinner out again. Busy but lovely day that felt slow and nice. Gary even had a chance to take the kids to the park on their scooters while I went to the nail salon with my mom. Today, with the kids off from school and no seders to keep us busy, I took them back to gymnastics open play for 2 hours then cooked dinner for friends. I actually enjoy this kind of busy-ness even though kids are home and I’m getting 2 out of the 10 things I *need* to get done every day. Even still, the days feel slow and languorous and the timing is all our own. Reminds me, I am reading an AMAZING book called The Ten Year Nap by Meg Wolitzer about a group of 4 New York women who left high powered jobs to be home with their children for ten years. Written so wonderfully, I feel it is surely a book well-suited for a book club discussion. Has anyone read it? Here is a blurb —
The New York Times bestselling novel that woke up critics, book clubs, and women everywhere.
For a group of four New York friends the past decade has been defined largely by marriage and motherhood, but it wasn’t always that way. Growing up, they had been told that their generation would be different. And for a while this was true. They went to good colleges, and began high-powered careers. But after marriage and babies, for a variety of reasons, they decided to stay home, temporarily, to raise their children. Now, ten years later, they are still at home, unsure how they came to inhabit lives so different from the ones they expected—until a new series of events begins to change the landscape of their lives yet again, in ways they couldn’t have predicted.
Written in Meg Wolitzer’s inimitable, glittering style, The Ten-Year Nap is wickedly observant, knowing, provocative, surprising, and always entertaining, as it explores the lives of its women with candor, wit, and generosity.
On to adoption news, today we finally got our dossier fingerprints redone. We were supposed to get them done last week, but there is only one officer who does them and our schedules did not work out. She was off or out on a beat, then holidays came, then Gary couldn’t go. Finally, today, with both kids in tow, we went. Emma wanted to know why we needed fingerprints. I simply told her, in case we decide to get a baby brother, we need this paperwork. She then said “We’re getting a brother tomorrow?” See??? Further reinforcing why I haven’t officially told them yet … until all our paperwork is in. I have no idea of the timing right now. I want to be able to tell them … guess what we are getting for Hannukah this year! We will have a time frame to look forward to, calendar pages to turn. For now, it’s too far off …
At the Police Precinct today, it was a new officer who printed us. Hopefully she did a great job. I noticed more ink was used and hopefully it will be just the imprint needed. She was so kind to Emma and Eden as well, and even did fingerprints for them too and signed and dated them. Certainly good for me to have for safety (G-d forbid) but also adorable to see their little fingers, and equally important for them to feel a part of the adoption paperwork and get a sense, in a nice fun way, of what goes on. It felt special to all be there. It gave me a feeling of how meaningful it will be when I take them across the world to meet their brother.
Gary, bless his soul as he’s come around so much, does still complain about the travel and still (not even jokingly) asks if there is anyway around him going. I tell him it’s almost like him saying he wouldn’t want to be there to witness Emma or Eden’s births. He tells me it’s just the distance. And he moans and groans and dreads all those hours of traveling with the kids (22 hours total I think it is from start to end??) Well, it’s true — it’s long. But I think of the words of one of my favorite people (JMG) and she always says “The only way to get to the other side is to just go through it.”
This week, I had an MRI on my noggin. I have a pituitary issue that needs to be checked periodically. Anyway, I had had an MRI last year and was quite shocked and disturbed by the coffin like feeling that the MRI offered. The loud banging noises was not appreciated either. This time, I felt mildly anxious for a week before as I need to have the MRI with contrast — meaning, I needed to be injected intravenously with a dye so that better pictures could be taken of the brain and I was not looking forward to that. The entire process was to be 40 minutes inside this MRI chamber. When my anxiety crept up, I tried to remove it from my mind and just realize that soon, it’s going to be over. In hindsight, I can not even recall more than two or three minutes of the MRI experience. I recall my eyes bugging out inside as I was slid inside the claustrophic chamber that covered me from head to almost knees — and then the loud banging and vibrations began. But then, I closed my eyes and thought of this mantra — “The only way to get to the other side of this experience is to just go through it. It will soon be over and I’ll be on the other side.” I mention this MRI experience to compare it to the experience of traveling by airplane 22 hours with children! Ha! Gary is thinking too much of the traveling. I’m not thinking of it at all. (Anymore at least. I certainly logged a few hours of worry about this many many months ago in this journey when I focused on trivialities.) I just know that, eventually, we’ll be on the “other side” of those 22 hours and it will be behind us. And the real stuff that we came for will be there. Baby boy Karp. Gary’s not adventurous but yet I’m fairly certain he’ll probably enjoy some of the shopping experiences there in Kaz and the produce, etc. And he’ll probably have routines and be very happy with the slow pace of the day — the baby house visits, the extended opportunities to spend time with the family. A luxury. Nothing else to do but be together while you are away from your normal life. A rare treasure, when you think about it. Something truly memorable, that I’m sure Emma and Eden will never forget. Once Gary is somewhere, he’s okay about it. But I have to remind him that his attitude needs to be positive and light if we are to have any chance of Emma and Eden feeling like this is a wonderful experience too. This is an absolute once in a lifetime experience for them! This beginning experience could pave the way for their own desires to adopt one day, should that be the case or a true interest. (Meanwhile, they both do say they want to adopt babies one day. Emma says this simply because she would be extremely embarrassed for any doctor to see her nether regions. Gotta love a modest girl.)
I guess that is all for my musings today. The fingerprints will be overnighted tomorrow. In my “rejection letter” last week, it was suggested that I send back the rejected fingerprints with my new ones as they can “cut and paste” to make a set of perfect prints for us. This being the case, I will also send in my perfect prints from September that happened to “expire.” At least, as far as prints go, I might be assured of a good set from that day. In 3 weeks hopefully, I will find out that all went well and then I’ll complete the final steps. Soon, I’ll be notarizing and apostilling and making three copies of the paperwork I have worked so diligently to acquire. Lea’s recent posts about seeing the waiting children while at the Baby House and the senselessness of the criteria the adoptive parents often need and the unbelievable hoops to be jumped through and the length of time we push to make this happen has me with a renewed interest in working hard to get our baby home.
And I thank my new blog friend Marcia for sharing with me a beautiful prayer that I share with you now.
May you be safe and sleep soundly through the night.
May you be safe as you wake to the morning’s light.
May you feel my love from so far away,
May it comfort and protect you throughout each day.
I pray for you my little one, until our time of waiting is done.
I pray that the Lord keeps you safe from harm.
Until the child in my heart becomes the child in my arms.
