these past few days, to venture to ruminate over possible first and middle name combos (even going so far as to guess what his given name would be and where it would fit in, based on a web site showing popular Kazakh and Russian names.) Also, I have searched and found an inexpensive, sleek espresso colored crib that will fit neatly in the small space we have for Baby Boy. The beautiful “antique white”-colored one that Eden and Emma shared (and holds so much sentimentility if I were to use again) appears uber-girly now with a curved rail and bun feet and is, more importantly, a bit large looking for my condensed space. Although this one that I found is a standard crib size, because the sides are simple and uniform (modern looking?), it appears to take up a smaller footprint. I didn’t want to overwhelm the room either. The crib I found (Sorelle City Lights in Espresso) becomes a toddler bed as well, and seems to match well with a lot of my Pottery Barn furnishings in the room that it might be in. A lot simpler than the first crib, and definitely functional in the way we need, and perhaps more boyish. I also allowed myself to pre-select some blue and brown dotted and striped crib linens from the new Restoration Hardware Baby line.
I have a two floor bedroom — a lovely set of stairs in our bedroom that leads up to an office/lounge area with a separate area for a walk-in style closet. I would like to share our king-sized bed with the baby for the start to foster attachment (from what I have read at least, this does help? thoughts??) but will consider that the actual crib will share space in the corner of our room, or in what will eventually be a crisp, clean and organized upstairs attic/office/lounge area. It’s completely finished, very cozy and just 12 steps up from where our bed is with no door to separate us — but perhaps just a bit quieter for him. I will not need a changing table — as I will simply place my changing pad on any nearby surface — our bed, a floor — as I often did with Emma and Eden even though we did have a designated changing station in their rooms. I will keep changing table essentials, however, on each floor of the house. I recently used, for a visiting friend, our travel high chair (the kind that fits onto a chair and really is quite fine) and our toddler bath. They are both in perfect condition. Big musical toys abound in my house, as do puzzles, shape sorters and rows of books that burst from overstuffed shelves. But my love and excitement that grows for this little one to arrive (still amidst a good portion of people who don’t know yet and a husband who is *still* dreading the travel process and really doesn’t want to talk about logistics with me) grows stronger each day.
I’ll be honest with you. Gary fell in love with Emma right away – His eyes filled with tears the minute he saw her and he didn’t stop crying for about one month. With Eden, it took a bit longer for him to “fall in love” though he would not admit this and perhaps doesn’t even know it on a conscious level. He was a daddy to an almost three year old girl when Eden was born and that sort of superceded the ability to bond as quickly with a baby who just slept and cried, what babies do. With Emma, there were no distractions and the love happened instantaneously. With Eden, he *loved* but the “falling in” part of it was more gradual. So my fear is how this little boy will creep and then fit into his Daddy’s heart? Am I right to assume it will take a while for Gary to adore his son? No doubt he will *do* all the right things, as he is so good with children and our friends’ children love him and he’s very silly with them, etc. Or will I be blown away by how actively Gary gets his head in the game from the beginning. Only time will tell, and, knowing where we started from and the sitting on the fence and then the crossing over, I will absolutely not panic. This love, shall grow. I was really touched when I voiced these concerns to my dear friend Jen and she said “Don’t worry about that Steph. Between you and me alone, this little boy’s going to have all the love he needs.” I already know Jen is Family to us, but to have her say that and include herself already in the loving of our soon to be son was just beyond. Thank you Jen! I know you already know you important that is to me!
Anyway, my point in writing these random, stream of conscious nesting and preparatory thoughts is simply to say that … IT IS BECOMING REAL FOR ME!!! WOW WOW WOW!
Steph,
I love all your thoughts on where and what things will be like. It is so much fun to be getting closer and closer to your little man. I have no question in my mind that Gary is going to be head over heals for this new little member of your family. It might take him a bit of time to fall in love completely but it will for you too. It is very different being handed a baby instead of a helpless newborn. Allow yourself and Gary the time you need. Everyday I fall more in love with Henry, (if that is possible?)
I love what Jen said too, so sweet and she is right. Count me in too! I can not wait to have your baby boy in our life to love and adore. Brooklyn, here we came!
Love you,
Carolyn
Steph,
I love all your thoughts on where and what things will be like. It is so much fun to be getting closer and closer to your little man. I have no question in my mind that Gary is going to be head over heals for this new little member of your family. It might take him a bit of time to fall in love completely but it will for you too. It is very different being handed a baby instead of a helpless newborn. Allow yourself and Gary the time you need. Everyday I fall more in love with Henry, (if that is possible?)
I love what Jen said too, so sweet and she is right. Count me in too! I can not wait to have your baby boy in our life to love and adore. Brooklyn, here we came!
Love you,
Carolyn
Steph,
I love all your thoughts on where and what things will be like. It is so much fun to be getting closer and closer to your little man. I have no question in my mind that Gary is going to be head over heals for this new little member of your family. It might take him a bit of time to fall in love completely but it will for you too. It is very different being handed a baby instead of a helpless newborn. Allow yourself and Gary the time you need. Everyday I fall more in love with Henry, (if that is possible?)
I love what Jen said too, so sweet and she is right. Count me in too! I can not wait to have your baby boy in our life to love and adore. Brooklyn, here we came!
Love you,
Carolyn
Carolyn, you are absolutely right. Love is very much a verb that must be done. When you love actively, nurture and care for, the “falling” part eventually comes. I can speak for myself too. I LOVED my girls when they were born and was a nursing, jump up in the middle of the night, is she okay, is she breathing type of new mom. But it was later, in the quiet night time, when my daughters locked eyes with mine weeks and weeks and weeks after they were born, that my heart melted and I was officially in love. I hope this happens to us again as well, as long as it takes. I know it will come.
Steph
Carolyn, you are absolutely right. Love is very much a verb that must be done. When you love actively, nurture and care for, the “falling” part eventually comes. I can speak for myself too. I LOVED my girls when they were born and was a nursing, jump up in the middle of the night, is she okay, is she breathing type of new mom. But it was later, in the quiet night time, when my daughters locked eyes with mine weeks and weeks and weeks after they were born, that my heart melted and I was officially in love. I hope this happens to us again as well, as long as it takes. I know it will come.
Steph
Carolyn, you are absolutely right. Love is very much a verb that must be done. When you love actively, nurture and care for, the “falling” part eventually comes. I can speak for myself too. I LOVED my girls when they were born and was a nursing, jump up in the middle of the night, is she okay, is she breathing type of new mom. But it was later, in the quiet night time, when my daughters locked eyes with mine weeks and weeks and weeks after they were born, that my heart melted and I was officially in love. I hope this happens to us again as well, as long as it takes. I know it will come.
Steph
I’d love for you to post pics of the crib and bedding when you are ready. And, yes, he will fall in love with time. Each child is different, birth or otherwise. I love reading your posts.
I’d love for you to post pics of the crib and bedding when you are ready. And, yes, he will fall in love with time. Each child is different, birth or otherwise. I love reading your posts.
I’d love for you to post pics of the crib and bedding when you are ready. And, yes, he will fall in love with time. Each child is different, birth or otherwise. I love reading your posts.
I loved your post. I get to the place where I’m thinking of bringing out the baby items and try to get organized. And other times this scares the ‘heck’ out of me. It is such a roller coaster of emotions for me right now.
I loved your post. I get to the place where I’m thinking of bringing out the baby items and try to get organized. And other times this scares the ‘heck’ out of me. It is such a roller coaster of emotions for me right now.
I loved your post. I get to the place where I’m thinking of bringing out the baby items and try to get organized. And other times this scares the ‘heck’ out of me. It is such a roller coaster of emotions for me right now.