A huge happy birthday shout out is order for my dear Gary today. He turns 48 big ones! How does the time fly? And … how am I married to a 48 year old? 😉 (Sorry, Gar.) Ah, yes, we are 11.5 years apart, and sometimes his numbers still surprise me. But then again, I am closer to 40 than I am to 30, so I shouldn’t be talking. Age is a state of mind! Or so they say. I’m just absolutely grateful to have healthy, happy, evolving years with Gary for as long as we have. In fact, if truth be known, we went to a marriage counselor a few times in the past couple of months. Not because anything is wrong or out of the norm, but there is always room to grow. He wasn’t really into it at first, but I think Gary’s liking the results. G-d bless him for agreeing to go because I know many men who have refused to go to counseling with their wives, and I’m thankful my husband is, not necessary a fan of counseling, but rather a big enough fan of Steph, to want to go for me. I absolutely want the very best in my marriage and my life. I’m not ashamed to say I enjoy having a neutral party in my life a lot. If I’m so into self-development and my women’s empowerment classes, then I also want to devote my energies to our family unit as well in this same manner. We used to go a while back as a family when Emma was having anxiety. We spoke a lot about parenting and then about us. I think it’s really important to have an outlet like this. So that’s my two cents on counseling! Since my mom will probably be appalled that I wrote this in my blog, I might second guess my honesty and remove this at some point. Until then, I have a feeling of midnight honesty and I’m just feeling so grateful now for Gary, so I’ll leave it in. I’ll see how I feel about it tomorrow! 😉
Thanks to my friends who checked in on me and miss my blog posts. I have not had a lot to report on on the adoption front so I’ve been a bit quiet. But just today I found out that my recent set of fingerprints were approved and … Gary’s 3rd and 4th set were rejected yet again. Does this mean I have another two months of waiting for new cards and new results? I will speak to the home study agent on Monday to see what actions can be taken. I am disappointed but not letting it get to me. I am reminded often of Sarah’s many “rejections”, and those snafus were what led her to her wonderful daughter. So that is the way life goes.
I am thinking that with all that is going on, however, I’m hoping that 2010 will be our year. I can’t imagine that it’s all going to happen this year any more. When I first began, I thought Eden was too young to be a big sister and deal with the ramifications of being a “middle child” so soon. She still had so many needs. Now, most likely, she’ll be 5 when she becomes a big sister, and Emma will be 8. Certainly, they’ll be older than I’d planned, and so will I. I guess I’ll be close to 38. Which means, if I did ever decide to get pregnant again, I’d be close to 40. Again, these “lucky” delays would be pushing me into different ages than I’d originally thought. And maybe that age would actually make it an impossibility to have a child for me. If it was a desire at all. Most likely this little boy will complete our family unit and there will be no journey to 6. Even if so, I’m not giving up due to time delays. I was recently asked if I want “my own child too” (their words, not mine) — and I adamantly said “Right now, I’m only focused on our adoption, nothing else.” I am amazed at myself sometimes that I’m still going strong. But it’s no longer myself I think about. I know that this child is actually relying on us. So there is absolutely NO WAY I will turn my back on my child, even if he is not yet born. This is the child that my proverbial red thread is attaced to, and I will not ignore it just because of age, numbers or timing. When it happens, it will be the right time.
We got Eden a doll for Hanukkah and it was so cute and little. While the kids were asleep, Gary was holding the doll looking at it. And so unlike him to “pretend”, he got behind me and held the doll in front of us, and faced us both into the reflection from my kitchen glass door. He said “Our first family photo. Hi, everyone, meet X! (fill in Baby Boy name which we may or may not name our child.)
I thought it was pretty great that he did that. With all the waiting and logistics going on, we haven’t spoken too much about the reality again. So the fact that his statement seemed to show he did have a picture in his head and a vision of bringing Baby Boy home was pretty great.
Speaking of dolls, I am so proud of Emma. Last night, she had a Kris Kringle gift exchange at her Brownie meeting (it was delayed from Christmas time.) The entire day, she could barely contain herself, she was so excited for what the evening’s meeting would bring, and what kind of gift she would pick, etc. etc. She came home that night and showed me her long awaited gift. She wound up selecting a gift that she doesn’t like — some faux Barbie dolls whose skin color was actually a mottled gray. She doesn’t and never has played with dolls. She is a notebook girl, arts and crafts, Wii games, guitar player … but I digress. Anyway, it was her friend’s gift that she’d picked, and although disappointment probably laid like a stone in her stomach, she simply said “I love it!” Now, I have certainly not taught her to hide her feelings. She has to speak up if anything is bothering her, but she is so sensitive to others’ needs as well, that she absolutely did not want to hurt her friends’ feelings. The leader gave some girls an opportunity to exchange, but Emma’s friend was so happy that it was Emma who got her gift, that Emma didn’t want to break her heart. I know the difference between what Emma did and stifling your own feelings even though you are miserable. Emma actually wasn’t miserable about this gift, despite looking so forward to the gift exchange. She simply let it go and valued her friends feelings, which I thought was so very mature for a 6 year old. But Emma wound up getting a surprise when she got home. I was so proud of how she handled herself, that I gave her just a few little trinkets I had not given her for Hannukah — sticker sheets, a craft box to put beads in, and a pencil case. Man, you would have thought I gave her a Wii game with her excitement. Then it got me thinking … is she just being polite yet again?! 😉 No, I think I just know my daughter and the little things that make her happy … and she was.
In closing, I just wanted to say that I’m so pleased that I have so many people I can share the waiting with and the disappointments and just the reality of the adoption process and how we stand in the process. Thank you to all my blog friends and a huge thank you to my friends who treat the process as if it actually is happening, despite nothing yet to show for it. During this trying time, I only want to hear stories that support the feelings in my heart, and it is to your support that I turn.
Gearing up for a family party for Gary in our house tomorrow. Baking is all done, but there are a few hot spots left to declutter! Time for me to sign off. More to come …
Peace out!
Steph
Happy Birthday to Gary! Stephanie…well I guess it’s good and bad news. Before I read your blog, I was just thinking about timing. I think your son just hasn’t been born yet, you don’t want to get there too early. I think it will all work out the way it’s supposed to. I think maybe our son is born or about to be…maybe? I hope the last set of fingerprints get approved as quickly as it can be done.
Happy Birthday to Gary! Stephanie…well I guess it’s good and bad news. Before I read your blog, I was just thinking about timing. I think your son just hasn’t been born yet, you don’t want to get there too early. I think it will all work out the way it’s supposed to. I think maybe our son is born or about to be…maybe? I hope the last set of fingerprints get approved as quickly as it can be done.
Happy Birthday to Gary! Stephanie…well I guess it’s good and bad news. Before I read your blog, I was just thinking about timing. I think your son just hasn’t been born yet, you don’t want to get there too early. I think it will all work out the way it’s supposed to. I think maybe our son is born or about to be…maybe? I hope the last set of fingerprints get approved as quickly as it can be done.
It seems like FOREVER since you’ve posted! Happy birthday, Gary. Hope the party is wonderful.
This whole process is such a roller coaster. The only certainty is that your child will come home at the right time. Frustrating as it may be, everything else has to happen exactly as it does for your child to come home. But I can completely understand your practical frustration of putting so much into this and having “nothing to show for it.” Completely understand that one. But as you know, once you do have something (actually, someone) to show for it, I am fully confident you will wholeheartedly say, you’d do it all over again in a second to bring him home.
And the sweet Emma story- just another example of what a sophisticated, mature young lady she is. You’ve done well 🙂
It seems like FOREVER since you’ve posted! Happy birthday, Gary. Hope the party is wonderful.
This whole process is such a roller coaster. The only certainty is that your child will come home at the right time. Frustrating as it may be, everything else has to happen exactly as it does for your child to come home. But I can completely understand your practical frustration of putting so much into this and having “nothing to show for it.” Completely understand that one. But as you know, once you do have something (actually, someone) to show for it, I am fully confident you will wholeheartedly say, you’d do it all over again in a second to bring him home.
And the sweet Emma story- just another example of what a sophisticated, mature young lady she is. You’ve done well 🙂
It seems like FOREVER since you’ve posted! Happy birthday, Gary. Hope the party is wonderful.
This whole process is such a roller coaster. The only certainty is that your child will come home at the right time. Frustrating as it may be, everything else has to happen exactly as it does for your child to come home. But I can completely understand your practical frustration of putting so much into this and having “nothing to show for it.” Completely understand that one. But as you know, once you do have something (actually, someone) to show for it, I am fully confident you will wholeheartedly say, you’d do it all over again in a second to bring him home.
And the sweet Emma story- just another example of what a sophisticated, mature young lady she is. You’ve done well 🙂
Hey Steph,
So glad to read a beautiful post from you! You are such a gifted writer. A BIG Happy Birthday to dear Gary! What a lucky guy to have YOU for a wife!
I love how intuned you are to Emma’s feeling, I hope I am half the mother you are to Henry at 6 years old as you are to Emma and Eden.
That baby boy of yours is so very lucky to be landing his tiny feet into the Karp family.
Keep up the good work, I am always thinking of you.
Love u,
Carolyn
Hey Steph,
So glad to read a beautiful post from you! You are such a gifted writer. A BIG Happy Birthday to dear Gary! What a lucky guy to have YOU for a wife!
I love how intuned you are to Emma’s feeling, I hope I am half the mother you are to Henry at 6 years old as you are to Emma and Eden.
That baby boy of yours is so very lucky to be landing his tiny feet into the Karp family.
Keep up the good work, I am always thinking of you.
Love u,
Carolyn
Hey Steph,
So glad to read a beautiful post from you! You are such a gifted writer. A BIG Happy Birthday to dear Gary! What a lucky guy to have YOU for a wife!
I love how intuned you are to Emma’s feeling, I hope I am half the mother you are to Henry at 6 years old as you are to Emma and Eden.
That baby boy of yours is so very lucky to be landing his tiny feet into the Karp family.
Keep up the good work, I am always thinking of you.
Love u,
Carolyn
great post… I got teary eyed reading about the gift exchange with Emma… what a great kid!! wow!!
Hang in there….
Prayers always,
Lanetta
great post… I got teary eyed reading about the gift exchange with Emma… what a great kid!! wow!!
Hang in there….
Prayers always,
Lanetta
great post… I got teary eyed reading about the gift exchange with Emma… what a great kid!! wow!!
Hang in there….
Prayers always,
Lanetta
Happy Birthday to Gary! Ain’t love grand?
It’s wonderful that you are still as determined as ever to bring home your Kaz baby, even though you have been inching along in the dreaded paperwork process. It’s so frustrating, but just keep taking it in baby steps and you will keep moving along. I hope that things will start picking up speed soon!
Thinking of you and wishing you a wonderful new year!
Happy Birthday to Gary! Ain’t love grand?
It’s wonderful that you are still as determined as ever to bring home your Kaz baby, even though you have been inching along in the dreaded paperwork process. It’s so frustrating, but just keep taking it in baby steps and you will keep moving along. I hope that things will start picking up speed soon!
Thinking of you and wishing you a wonderful new year!
Just checking in on you. You have been absent here and I think in FB too so I was wondering what was going on with you & your fam. Hang in there! The timing of these adoptions is a mystery and I do still believe it will work out for your family and mine when the time is right. NOTHING has happened in Kyrgyzstan since before October so we are just waiting, waiting, waiting too. Sometimes for us too it doesn't even seem real that we ares till doing this adoption — but we ARE too and I will not give up just because it's taking longer than anticipated. Good Luck finishing up your HS soon. It does seem that you're almost there with that. At some point they will just concede that Gary's prints just don't get any better than what they already got. G'luck!
Just checking in on you. You have been absent here and I think in FB too so I was wondering what was going on with you & your fam. Hang in there! The timing of these adoptions is a mystery and I do still believe it will work out for your family and mine when the time is right. NOTHING has happened in Kyrgyzstan since before October so we are just waiting, waiting, waiting too. Sometimes for us too it doesn't even seem real that we ares till doing this adoption — but we ARE too and I will not give up just because it's taking longer than anticipated. Good Luck finishing up your HS soon. It does seem that you're almost there with that. At some point they will just concede that Gary's prints just don't get any better than what they already got. G'luck!
Just checking in on you. You have been absent here and I think in FB too so I was wondering what was going on with you & your fam. Hang in there! The timing of these adoptions is a mystery and I do still believe it will work out for your family and mine when the time is right. NOTHING has happened in Kyrgyzstan since before October so we are just waiting, waiting, waiting too. Sometimes for us too it doesn't even seem real that we ares till doing this adoption — but we ARE too and I will not give up just because it's taking longer than anticipated. Good Luck finishing up your HS soon. It does seem that you're almost there with that. At some point they will just concede that Gary's prints just don't get any better than what they already got. G'luck!
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Wow- that is really sweet of you! I appreciate it so much- thank you! Yes, to the paypal is perfect. I appreciate it more than you know!
Wow- that is really sweet of you! I appreciate it so much- thank you! Yes, to the paypal is perfect. I appreciate it more than you know!
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I did received it- thank you SO much! Sorry, I had responded to that email, not knowing it is not in use anymore. Thank you again, I really appreciate it!
I did received it- thank you SO much! Sorry, I had responded to that email, not knowing it is not in use anymore. Thank you again, I really appreciate it!