Yesterday we had our home study visit by social worker, Judy Schwartz. Despite accidentally serving spoiled egg salad (how embarrassing!!!!! — at least the tuna and dessert was good!), it wound up being a wonderful and informative afternoon. One that I think served Gary very well. He had been dreading this meeting and I could tell during it that he seemed jovial, talkative and interested. I thought, is he this good of an actor? But when she left, he told me it was so much better than he thought. I think he was anticipating a very stuffy boring suited up woman in reading classes and sensible shoes talking very seriously to us. I think that Judy, herself a Jewish girl formerly from Brooklyn, was really the right person to talk to Gary. She has 4 teenage children, one was adopted domestically and three were siblings adopted as toddlers from Russia. Her stories about them were heart warming and inspirational. I think hearing those stories was what Gary needed to hear.
So we wrote out our first big check towards this adoption experience and it felt huge to me. But not huge enough for me to make a big announcement yet, as I still don’t have any applications or contracts in to my agency, and the amount yet to do still seems insurmountable (from this distance.) How does one eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Start chewing.
I think I will honestly feel that it’s real when my dossier is complete and I’m in the waiting stage. This is going to have to be a very productive summer.
Well, as a result of a great meeting yesterday, I found Gary was quite relaxed today and very huggy towards me. More so than usual perhaps? Judy, who knew of Gary’s trepidation and fears, said to me that as she spoke she actually could see Gary visibly relaxing. She said she really thinks he is really 100% on board, even though his initial interest is purely to do this for me.
We saw friends today for a July 4th BBQ. Jen’s 7 month old son is so loved, held, kissed, coddled and cooed at. It is heartbreaking in a way to think that my child will never have been loved like that in the earliest stage of his life and the ramifications it will mean, and the work it will take to get to a good place. And as I know from Carolyn and Henry and the amazing strides that Henry has achieved, I know that slow and steady wins the race. It just takes time. I need to be fully aware and always remember this. There will be things to overcome and according to Judy, most can be overcome.
I feel more connected to Gary than I have in a while from yesterdays’s meeting. I guess it’s almost like we know a little secret that yesterday was the day of conception 😉 But again, lots more applications and official paperwork, but plucking down the first check to me meant we were taking the steps seriously.
Emma and Eden did not know we met with a social worker yesterday. The less they know the better. But, perhaps due to seeing two baby boys today, at bedtime tonight, Emma asked me if Dad and I decided on our baby brother. I said to her We are still thinking about it and she just sighed. I feel bad but I think I’ll be ready to tell her when we will be ready to make an official announcement to family and friends and then we can have her help us build the buzz of excitement.
I’ll just keep plugging away and maybe we’ll have made some headway in our dossier by September. It feels surreal that one day I’ll be on a plane to Kazakhstan, heading to the land of my child’s birth. Life can really be miraculous and surprising … and good.
Goodnight!
Steph
Steph,
Wonderful news that the homestudy is now behind you. One thing knocked off the list, with many more to go, but you will get there…. I am cheering you on from the sidelines!!
You are right slow and steady wins all the races and your baby will blossom right before your eyes. To think Henry has only been home 7 months (that is really nothing) and how far he has come. Last night he woke up from a bad dream and I put him in bed with me. The way he was putting his head into my neck, if he could have gotten closer he would have, I laid there thinking, the connection is so deep now and it is getting deeper everyday. Time takes care of everything, your time will come too.
I am so proud of you.
Carolyn
Steph,
Wonderful news that the homestudy is now behind you. One thing knocked off the list, with many more to go, but you will get there…. I am cheering you on from the sidelines!!
You are right slow and steady wins all the races and your baby will blossom right before your eyes. To think Henry has only been home 7 months (that is really nothing) and how far he has come. Last night he woke up from a bad dream and I put him in bed with me. The way he was putting his head into my neck, if he could have gotten closer he would have, I laid there thinking, the connection is so deep now and it is getting deeper everyday. Time takes care of everything, your time will come too.
I am so proud of you.
Carolyn
Steph,
Wonderful news that the homestudy is now behind you. One thing knocked off the list, with many more to go, but you will get there…. I am cheering you on from the sidelines!!
You are right slow and steady wins all the races and your baby will blossom right before your eyes. To think Henry has only been home 7 months (that is really nothing) and how far he has come. Last night he woke up from a bad dream and I put him in bed with me. The way he was putting his head into my neck, if he could have gotten closer he would have, I laid there thinking, the connection is so deep now and it is getting deeper everyday. Time takes care of everything, your time will come too.
I am so proud of you.
Carolyn
I remember how nervous I was for our homestudy.I was so glad when it was over.You are both parents already so I’m sure you did great.On a different note we have just started a blog.If you would like an invitation email me at [email protected] a great weekend!
I remember how nervous I was for our homestudy.I was so glad when it was over.You are both parents already so I’m sure you did great.On a different note we have just started a blog.If you would like an invitation email me at [email protected] a great weekend!
I am cracking up about the egg salad! Glad the visit went well and you ALL feel more comfortable with the process. It is a long process, but yes- one step at a time.
This is all very exciting! I hope you guys had a happy 4th!
I am cracking up about the egg salad! Glad the visit went well and you ALL feel more comfortable with the process. It is a long process, but yes- one step at a time.
This is all very exciting! I hope you guys had a happy 4th!
I am cracking up about the egg salad! Glad the visit went well and you ALL feel more comfortable with the process. It is a long process, but yes- one step at a time.
This is all very exciting! I hope you guys had a happy 4th!
That’s great that you’ve started the homestudy! You are so smart to get started with that even before bothering to sign on and pay the application $$$ to the other agency. Any idea of how long the homestudy process will take?
Hoping your experience is MUCH shorter than the 4 months it took us!
Best wishes.
Monica
That’s great that you’ve started the homestudy! You are so smart to get started with that even before bothering to sign on and pay the application $$$ to the other agency. Any idea of how long the homestudy process will take?
Hoping your experience is MUCH shorter than the 4 months it took us!
Best wishes.
Monica
That’s great that you’ve started the homestudy! You are so smart to get started with that even before bothering to sign on and pay the application $$$ to the other agency. Any idea of how long the homestudy process will take?
Hoping your experience is MUCH shorter than the 4 months it took us!
Best wishes.
Monica
Wow – you served food to your social worker?? How nice of you! We had coffee but she never left the living room. 🙂 Glad the visit went well and you are all comfortable.
You will be surprised at how “fast” the process can go once you start plugging away.
Kim
Wow – you served food to your social worker?? How nice of you! We had coffee but she never left the living room. 🙂 Glad the visit went well and you are all comfortable.
You will be surprised at how “fast” the process can go once you start plugging away.
Kim
Wow – you served food to your social worker?? How nice of you! We had coffee but she never left the living room. 🙂 Glad the visit went well and you are all comfortable.
You will be surprised at how “fast” the process can go once you start plugging away.
Kim