Hope

Journey Home, the agency we are strongly considering using, wrote this to me today:

“Its a pleasure Stephanie, and you most certainly should maintain hope!!! The premise surrounding the “so called” closure, which still cannot be confirmed, is not a show stopping “Kaz is closed for adoption”, its a “slow down and let them catch up” situation that we have seen before. The widespread panic does so much harm, I wish people would simply look at the FACTS as they are presented. But then again, I was in your shoes too, and I’d have been up all night with worry…. its the nature of the process, but what does not kill us, makes us stronger!! Hang in there girl!”

I think that after this is resolved, if Gary and I are not ready to move forward then it wasn’t meant to be. I think that after wanting 3 children my whole life, thinking about adoption for many, many years of my life, and then actively educating myself emotionally, statistically and medically about international adoption for the past 11 months, after having researched countries and agencies and found ones that feel right, after having met so many amazing wonderful adoptive parents, followed the joys, journeys and triumphs of others, been frightened by the harsh realities but continued to persevere, after having my mettle tested a few times but having had no major road blocks, I think it is time to move forward in earnest on this journey to 5. I’ll share this entry with Gary and hope he shares my convictions. It’s not just us and our own life path, but childrens’ lives are on the line waiting for families. We have the means to do this, the loving hearts, the home, the compassion and desire to add to our family in this way. Why should we all be denied?

I maintain hope that it will all work out in the end.

Still getting my marriage license finally next week — the international adoption long form.

Until then — my best wishes and prayers to everyone on their journey!

Steph